


Secret Sam

by granpappy



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 2am idea, A+ Parenting, Alternate Universe, Ashton Irwin - Freeform, Babies, Cake, Calum Hood - Freeform, Dialogue Heavy, Doggos - Freeform, Fluff, Luke Hemmings - Freeform, M/M, Michael Clifford - Freeform, Mpreg, My First AO3 Post, My First Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, a lot of swearing, because who cares, becos i love them, calum is a fucking good parent, cursing, like BTS and Pentagon, mentions of kpop, my first everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-03-31 02:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13965282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/granpappy/pseuds/granpappy
Summary: Where Luke finds out why Calum dumped him all those years ago, despite trying his hardest to keep him away.





	1. 3 years ago

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure how male conception works but let's just go with it.

01:

*Flashback 3 years ago*

"BABE, BABE YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED" Luke yells running into my room making me piss myself. 

"What has made you so excited that you had to come interrupt my beauty sleep" I groan rolling over and pulling my blanket over my head. Luke jumps on my bed pulling my blanket and getting under it himself, once he snuggles in he attacks my face with light kisses causing me to push him away pretending to be annoyed. 

"So the boys and I got a call this morning from this company called Capitol Records or some shit like that but anyways they called and said they want us to make a demo of our original songs and send it in" He says pulling me closer and snuggling his nose in my neck. 

"Holy shit that's fucking awesome Luke" I jump on him, straddling him as I kiss his lips. Luke responds eagerly, immediately licking my lips and pinning my hips down. I instantly feel like putty when his hands start to roam my body, pinching my sides and sticking his hands inside my boxers. I moan as he leaves my mouth and starts kissing down my neck, biting harshly on my collar bones causing me to buck my hips harshly against his crotch. Luke groans and breaths heavily into my ear causing me to shiver. He brings his fingers to my mouth, and shoving them inside making me suck. Luke takes me off his lap for a few seconds to get rid of his clothes. He does the same to me and pulls me back onto his lap, making Luke let out a loud moan when our dicks rubbed against each other. Thank god my mum wa already gone for work. I shriek when Luke pushes the first finger inside, not letting time waste as he pushes his second finger in. i moan into his neck once he pushes the third in and goes at a faster pace. "You ready baby?" he asks while lifting me up. I nod, leaving kisses on his neck. He positions himself and slowly pushes me down on him, Luke groans as i start kissing his neck harder and biting his shoulders. I start to bounce at a fast pace, our moans getting louder. I start to scream when Luke shifts his leg a little bit, making him hit my spot. Luke starts rubbing my dick and mutters “i love you repeatedly making my heart flutter and moan louder. I clench around his member letting him know i was close, The sound of luke's moaning, heavy breathing, and skin slapping was enough to send me over the edge. I wait until I know luke is close so we can finish together. Luke shuts his eyes tight and releases, filling me up. I bounce a few more times and let go, squirting over both of our chests. 

“I love you so fucking much Cally”

\--- 

(Couple weeks later) 

My mum has taken me to the doctors since the last couple of days i’ve been throwing up everything that i eat and every morning when i wake up. The doctors have me pee in a cup and i start to panic when i notice the doctor share a look with my mum before walking out of the room. 

“Alright mum, be honest, i can take it.” I say seriously “Am i dying?” She gives me a small smile and says “Hon, dying would probably be easier than what you’re about to go through.” she rubs my back and look at her with wide eyes. 

“What the shit are you talking about?” The doctor walks in and sits at the small table on the side of the room. 

“Well Mr.Hood, it seems as though you are expecting a child” the doctor gives a smile and pats my knee.

“You’re going fucking senile doctor because I’m a flipping dude.” the doctor laughs 

“While it is certainly not common, it isn’t impossible.” the doctor shows me the chart and i feel myself go pale. 

You’ve got to be fucking shitting me.

\--1 Month Later--

I was officially a month pregnant. Thankfully there wasn’t much of anything to see yet, just constant vomiting. As for Luke, well everything is going good for Luke and his band. The record company loved their demo and they are set to go on tour and open for One Direction in a week. I haven’t told Luke anything about the whole carrying a fucking child inside of me. My mom says that he deserves to know, which duh, of course he deserves to know, but he is about to live out his dream and go on tour. No way am i going to fuck that up for him. I’ve been a bit distant from Luke, i just want to make this go easier, so it won’t be that bad when i break up with him. I know it sounds fucked up, but it’s for the best. I hear a knock on my door and groan rolling myself in the blanket muttering a ‘come in’ 

“Luke is here to see you.” my mom says quietly sitting next to me, rubbing my back. My mum and dad got a divorce when I was five. My older sister went to live with my dad in Arizona, while i decided to stay with my mom here in Sydney. 

“Okay you can let him in I guess.” my mum gets up and goes to the door.

“You sure you know what you’re doing sweetie?” I ponder for a minute. I turned 18 two months ago, I have a job and enough in my savings to get an apartment and my mum says she would help me with the baby. I already have a plan, and sure it’s gonna hurt like a bitch to go through with it, but it’ll have to do. 

“ I’m sure mum, don’t worry about.” i give her a small smile and she goes to let Luke inside the house. 

“Hey cally, what’s up.” Luke leans down to give me a kiss but I move away. I can tell he looks hurt but I brush it off and sigh. 

“Nothing still sick, You have everything packed for the tour?” his eyes light up as he starts to talk about the tour and how excited he is. I’m gonna miss him and his beautiful crystal blue eyes, the way he laughs, the face he makes when he’s asleep. Fuck I’m gonna miss him so much. 

“Luke” i whisper but he keeps talking.

“Luke.” i say a little louder, still nothing. I try holding onto my sobs as i watch him talk with his eyes shining and a smile on his face. 

“LUKE” he stops talking, smile falling from his face when he sees my glossy eyes. “We should end this, me and you.” I mutter avoiding his face. 

“W-what do you m-mean, end this c-calum this isn’t funny” He stands up and starts pacing the room. 

“Do I look like I’m laughing Luke. I’m serious, I don’t want to be with you anymore.” I say harshly, wincing at how mean my voice sounds. 

“B-but why. I don’t u-understand. Did I do something wrong. Cally i can fix this j-just ple-”

“I’m sorry Luke, but I’ve already made up my mind. I figured I would do it now and give you sometime to get over it before the tour starts.”

“Is this about the tour. Cally, i won’t go on tour if it means i have to lose you.”

“Luke, how can you be so selfish. You’re the lead singer but you’re not the only one that matters. Ashton and Michael are looking forward to the tour, you can’t stop the tour just because you don’t want to lose me. It was going to happen eventually Luke. We weren’t going to be together forever.” 

“I thought we were.” Luke whispers, wiping his tears. 

“All I want is for you to be happy, and if being with me doesn't make you happy, then I’ll let you go.” He walks up to me, kissing me one more time on the lips and then my forehead, then my cheek. Luke lets out a quiet sob. 

“Goodbye, Cally” Grabbing his leather jacket, he gives me a small smile and walks out. Once he’s gone, I sit on my bed, and take a deep breath, all my emotions that i held onto while talking to Luke suddenly start to pour out of me. Sobs escaping me to a point where i couldn't breathe. 


	2. Doggos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cal get a dog.

02:

\--Present Day--

“Sam, I swear to god. If you don’t come down from the roof right now, I’m going to kick your little brown ass.” Sam just giggles while my mom slaps the back of my head.

“What the fuck mum.” I groan rubbing my head 

“Don’t fucking curse in front of sam, Idiot.” She walks away going to to catch Sam who had been on the roof of my house for the past twenty minutes. I don’t even know how the fuck he gets up there. I know the baby book says that at this age he is able to climb well, but this is fucking ridiculous. Sam giggles as he jumps off the small steps, mom catching him. 

“Sam I love you, I do but you’re giving my gray hairs.” I mumble taking Sam in my arms and taking him inside to grab a snack. I put Sam in front of the t.v. with his toys, Naruto quietly playing in the background. My mom follows me into the kitchen. I take out some oreos and my mum takes out some milk. 

“You should give him better snacks, this is so unhealthy.” She mumbles, pouring milk into his purple sippy cup.

“Nuhuh, milk is good for the bones.” I say in a matter-of-fact tone. My mum rolls her eyes, kisses my cheek and takes the cookies and milk to Sam, who is currently re-enacting whatever Naruto is doing on the screen. 

Sam looks just like me, from his brown skin, thick wavy black hair, lips, he’s almost a clone of me, except that he has bright piercing blue eyes, and long noodle legs. Just like him. Sam doesn’t think anything about it being just me, not that he would really be able to tell since he hasn’t started school yet. I don’t regret what i did for a second, I mean maybe i did when none of my fucking pants fit, but other than that, I never did. My mum was with me every step of the way, and Luke is out living his dream and making it big. Sometimes they’ll come out on the radio and Sam will dance to their music. I have to admit, their music is good, as expected. After Luke left, I changed my number and moved out of my mum's place. It was easier for me. Luke used to send postcards to me from wherever he was at, but stopped one day. It was for the better, it meant Luke was getting over me and was able to find someone better for him. But like I said, everything is working out how I planned. I walk into the living room and sit beside my mum who is recording Sam dance to the Naruto theme song. 

“Sammy, I love you.” I say picking him up when the song is over and my mum is done recording. I pick sam up and pull him into my lap. My mum goes to the kitchen muttering about cleaning and then going to the store to get groceries. I mumble okay and put on Mulan, because she’s fucking awesome. Sam and I start singing along to the movie, cuddled up into a blanket my mum crochet. 

“Daddy, can we get a dog, like Mulan?” I wanted to protest and say no, since that’s what my mum always told me, but I love dogs so why not. 

“Mum, we’re getting a dog.” I yell, Sam starts cheering and screaming, while running to his room to get a jacket and shoes. I do the same, grabbing my car keys, wallet and Sams baby bag that has extra clothes, toys, and snacks, because ‘you never know’ in the words of my mum. 

“Are you sure you want to get a puppy, they’re a lot of work, especially with a boy Sams age.” My mum says,packing more snacks and drinks for us in Sam’s bag. 

“Don’t worry, we’re not gonna get a puppy. I’m gonna take him to a shelter and let him choose an older dog, but not too old, ya know.” Sam comes out of his room excited, shoes on the wrong foot.

“Come here you big goof.” I laugh, sitting on the ground and helping him put his shoes in the right way.

“Do you need to use the restroom before we leave?” He ponders for a moment and races to the bathroom.

“What time do you think you’ll be back? I still need to go to the store, and get you some groceries.”

“Mum, you don’t need to do that, but seeing as it’s about noon, we should be back by two, do you want to come with us.” My mum instantly shakes her head.

“No, the shelters make me so sad.” I nod and go to check on Sam. I knock on the bathroom door and a quiet ‘come in’ is said. 

“You okay Sam?” I push the door open and he’s standing there with his pants to his ankles.

“Yeah, I finished” I nod, flush the toilet and get on my knees, helping him pull his pants up. As soon as his pants are up he runs to the front door. 

“Get back here and wash your hands you nasty kid.” Sam laughs and comes back, standing on his stool he pulls the water on, puts his hands under for three seconds and screams that he’s done.  
“Get back here you little shit, you need to put soap.” I laugh when he comes back glaring at me, god he looks like Luke when he glares. Sam stomps up putting a shit ton of soap while staring at me. I push the soap away and turn on the water. Sam rubs his hands together, then finally putting them under water, never looking away. 

“You’re a punk, you know that.” I pinch his cheek and help him down. 

“We’re leaving mum.” I yell helping Sam put his coat on and heading to the car.

“Be careful” She yells. I lock the door, and walk to the car, Sam holding my hand. I unlock the doors, open the back seat and put his bag on the seat. Sam climbs in as best as he can into the car, i push him up a bit by his butt, and finally buckle him in his seat. I lock the back door and head up to the driver seat. The radio instantly comes on, playing the latest music, which just so happened to be 5sos, newest single. Luke’s group. Sam perks up at the sound and starts dancing, as much as he can in his carseat. 

“LET’S GET A DOG SAM.” I yell Sam squeals and we head off.

\--

Once we get to the shelter, Sam is already squealing. I take Sam out of his seat, pick up his bag, lock the doors and grab Sam’s hand. We walk in to see a tall girl with long black curly hair at the front desk, typing away on her phone. When she notices us, she puts her phone down and walks in front of us. 

“Hi, my name is Mags, how can I help you today?” 

“We’re looking for a dog, preferably potty trained and good with kids”

“Of course we have plenty of dogs, were you looking for a big or smaller breed of dog.” before I can answer, Sam yells out that he wants a big dog.

“I guess a bigger one.” She laughs and opens a door that leads to all the animals they have. 

“We do have a room, if interested to see if a dog you choose will be good around him.” She says unlocking the gate that separates the cats and dogs. 

“So here are the dogs that are potty trained, but we don’t know if they are good with kids, of course we know which dogs are more aggressive and which are more sensitive, but I imagine you want more of a family dog right.” I nod about to say something when Sam suddenly lets go of my hand and runs towards a cage that looked empty. When I catch up to him, I see a biggish dog napping in the far corner. 

“This is Nala, she is a blue nose pitbull, 2 years old, and house trained. Like a lot of dogs, she was abandoned and we found her injured, not to bad so she is okay now.” At the mention of her name, she stands up and walks up to Sam, I’m not to worried since there’s a space between them. 

“So is she a good dog?” I ask, watching Sam closely.

“We aren’t sure. She gets along with other dogs, and hardly ever barks, but since we found her, she’s been very quiet.” 

“Daddy, I like her.” Sam says, never looking away from the gray pup, . 

“Can we take her to that room you mentioned before?” She eagerly nods. 

“Excuse me sweetie.” Sam rushes over to me and grabs my hand. Mags walks into the dogs cage, pets her and puts her on a leash. We follow Mags to the room, and when we get there she points to a couple of bean bags telling us to sit, as it makes the dogs less nervous. Sam sits on my lap as he intently watches the dog. As soon as the dog is let loose, her whole attitude changes from sad to excited. Sam throws a ball, where she instantly catches and brings it back, gently placing it in Sams’ hands. 

That’s how we spend the next hour, Sam playing excitedly with Nala and being so patient and gentle with him, even when Sam accidently pulled her ear, all she did was move away. 

“I guess we found our dog.” I laugh looking up at Mags, she nods and goes to get paperwork, the cage, collar, and leash. After filling out all of the documents and putting her leash on, Mags follows us outside to our car with Nala and the cage, while Sam carries the leash. I open the trunk of my gray Subaru, I know, gay ass car. Mags puts the cage in the trunk and opens it, Nala immediately jumps into the cage and lays down. 

“You guys are all set, Good luck.” Sam yells a thank you and we start the whole process of getting in the car again. As soon as we settle in, my phone starts ringing. 

“Yeah mum?”

“I’m at the store, did you get a dog yet?”

“Yeah we did, her name is Nala and she’s a pit bull.” I glance back to see Sam slowly falling asleep.” 

“Good, I’ll get her some food and a bed yeah.” I nod, forgetting she can’t see me.

“Thanks mum, Sam is starting to fall asleep, so we’ll be home soon.”  
“Alright hon. Love ya.” I say it back and start the car, driving off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know what I'm doing, but I like it


	3. Daisy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically filler sorry, but next chapter will be better.

03:

Once we arrive, I knew this was gonna be a fucking a hassle, and my mom isn’t even home yet. Nala was whimpering trying to get out of her cage. 

“Ah shit.” I grumble, thinking about how the fuck I was gonna do this. I guess I could leave the cage in the car until my mom gets back. She doesn’t live with us, she would never give up the house I grew up in. Since she worked during the week, she came over every weekend and helped me out with him. In case I ever wanted to go out with friends, except I don’t have any friends. Luke, Michael, and Ashton were my only friends at the time. They didn’t even go to my school.They went the the same private school, while I went to public. I met them through summer camp when I was nine. We were put into the same cabin, and every summer until we were 15, we went back, getting into the same shit we always did. It was fun, I miss them. Especially Michael, I told him everything but once I started to date Luke, he distanced himself. 

I grab the leash from the backseat and pull the trunk up. I open the gate and hook up the leash to her collar and she jumps down. Nala follows me while I walk to Sams side to get him out. I open the door grab his bag, put it on my shoulder and attempt to take Sam out of his carseat without waking him up. After five minutes of struggling, with Nala tugging everytime she say something new and Sam being buried deep in his toys. I finally got him out. I lock the doors and head to the house, Sam sleeping heavily, drooling all over my shirt, and Nala excitedly jumping around, wanting to sniff out her new surroundings. I quickly fish the house keys out of my pocket, unlock the door and quickly take Sam to his bed. Once he’s tucked in, I go back and lock the door. Nala still following behind me. I sit on the couch already feeling tired and it was only 230. I look at Nala and see that her name doesn’t really fit her.

“How about we change your name huh. Let’s see what about Princess?” 

Nothing.

“Rose?”

Nada

“Zoey?”

Again, Nothing.

“Daisy?” She picks her head up at that and sits next to me, putting her head on my lap.

“Alright, little Daisy it is.” I say in that weird puppy voice. I go to kiss her nose only to see how bad she stinks.

“Gross Daisy.” I mutter walking to the bathroom, Daisy following behind. The first thing I do is turn the bath on, making sure the water is warm enough for her. I then lay a bunch of towels on the floor. I remember we got to wash some stray dogs at camp, and the water went everywhere. Once the bath is filled and the water seems to be a right temperature, I call Daisy in, who was just watching me from outside the bathroom. Surprisingly, she jumped in the water, layed down and closed her eyes, keeping her head above water. 

“Aw, such a good girl you are Daisy.” I coo, pouring water over her body. In perfect timing my mum came home.

“Calum dear, where are you?” She yells, I can hear her putting bags down in the kitchen. 

“In the bathroom.” Daisy picks her head up at the new sound. Slightly startled. 

“This is her?” My mom asks walking closer. Daisy looks up at her for a few seconds, then proceeds to lay back down in the water and closing her eyes. 

“Yeah, Sam chose her. It was like love at first sight. He couldn’t look away from her.” I smile remembering how transfixed he was on her. “Her name was Nala but it didn’t really fit her, so now she’s our Little Daisy.” 

“That’s a nice name. I got her a bed, some bowls, food and some toys, Oh and some soap.” 

“Thanks mum. I love you.” I smile up at her and give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Calum, finish up in here, I have to tell you something okay.” I’m a little worried at the sudden seriousness in her voice, but nod anyway. I take out the dog soap from the bag and start to rub the soap all over Daisy, not noticing that my mum walked out of the bathroom. I rub some soap on her head in a circular motion. Mentally taking in that Daisy was snoring while i rubbed her body. After a few minutes of rubbing her body, I’m finally done. I dry Daisy off and walk to the couch, sitting next to my mum. 

“So what did you need to talk to me about.” I fumble with my thumbs and bite my lip, nervously waiting for my mum to say something.

“So while I was at the store today, getting some groceries and what not, I saw Luke.” my breath hitched and my eyes went wide.

“D-did you talk to him, did he see you?” I mutter, playing with Daisys’ ears avoiding my mums intense stare.  
“No, he didn’t see me, I don’t think and we didn’t talk, I left as soon as I saw him.” 

“You didn’t have to avoid him like the plague mum, I know you like Luke, it’s not fair to keep him away from you, you guys were close. If you see him, you can talk to him, just please don’t mention me or Sam.” Nodding slowly she checks her watch and stands up.

“I should go, it's already three and I need to do somethings around the house. I’ll see you tomorrow and make sure you wake Sam up now or he won’t sleep tonight.” She grabs the purse and heads to the door. 

“I know mum, I’ve been doing this for three years.” I grumble helping my mom put on her coat and kissing her cheek.

“I know sweetie, I was just reminding you.” She laughs and walks out the door, getting into her car and driving off. I lock the door and go to Sams’ room. 

“ SAM WAKE UP” I yell, jumping into his bed next to him and wiggling him around. I see his eyes open and close them again. I giggle at his cuteness. 

“C’mon Sam, wake up. Who's gonna help me make dinner and play with Daisy?” I whine, slightly shaking him. 

“What, her name is Nala. Thilly daddy.” He says with his lisp and jumping on me.

“Nah, she didn’t like her name. So I changed it to Daisy while you were sleeping. What should we have for dinner?” I sit up and Sam jumps on my back. I walk to the kitchen and set him down on the counter. 

“Dino nuggeth, grapths, and frieth.” I laugh and nod while i take everything out and turn the oven on. (AN: my attempt on a lisp, don’t judge.)

“Ooh and pizza.” I say out loud, suddenly in the mood for it. Sam nods aggressively.

“I love you so much dude.” I hug him and kiss his face all over. Making him giggle. 

“Well say it back butt face.” 

“I love you tho much dude.” Smiling, I put the food in the oven and set the timer for 50 minutes. I put Sam back on the ground and head to living room. Sam takes out some toys and sits next to Daisy who’s sleeping. I pull out my phone and dial Domino’s number. 

“Thank you for choosing Domino’s. How can I help you?” The familiar voice rings out.

“Hey Fred, it’s Calum.”

“Oh hey what’s up dude, how’s it going? Still kicking I see.” Freds a total stoner. 

“Yeah still kicking, so I just wan-”

“So why are you calling all of a sudden? Sam okay?”

“Yeah Sams good. I just wanted to order pizza.” I laugh 

“Right, duh. So the usual”

“Yeah the usual. Thanks Fred.” I end the call and tell Sam the pizza was coming. I got rid of all the social media shit I had when I had Sam. I hardly used them anyway, but because of that my phone was full of games and weird shit Sam does, like pictures of him with food all over his face, or sleeping. While waiting for the pizza to come and the timer to go off, I move to the ground with Sam and start playing with him and his toys.

After an hour of playing with Sam, there was a knock on the door making Sam jump up and race to the door, I open the door and Fred walks right past me and into the kitchen.

“Well alrighty then.” Sam follows him into the kitchen and climbs into his chair.

“Sorry man, I just gotta pee.” I grab Sams’ Naruto plate and put his food onto it, handing it to him. I turn on the the radio, and LA Devotee by Panic at the Disco starts playing. 

“Wait Daddy, grapes.” I let out a dramatic sigh, and hand him a handful of grapes.

“Hey thanks man.” Fred walks up and hand him the money.

“No problem, thanks for the pizza.” I walk him out and lock the door. Daisy following behind.

“Do you think she knows any tricks?” I ask shoving pizza in my mouth. Sam shrugs and stuffs grapes in his already full mouth of fries. 

“Be careful Sam.” I hand him his sippy cup of orange juice and sit down, singing along.

“You got bleached out eyes from the valley sand

And a black tar palms keep weeping your name

I couldn't change ya, oh 

Couldn't ever try to make you see, no” 

Sam dances in his seat, dropping food on the floor. Daisy rushes over and eats everything on the ground. My phone starts ringing so I lower the music and answer it, Sam groaning. 

“Hello Mrs. Park, How are you?” Mrs. Park is an older korean lady I met at the park when Sam was a year old. We have play dates with her son Drake who’s a year older than Sam. We take them to the park, movies things like that. We meet every week, or at least try to. It also benefits me because Mrs. Park tells me everything that's going from her marriage, gossip with other ladies in her neighborhood, and in the media. She’s really cool.

“I’m fine dear, but I’m afraid Drake has the flu, and we can’t meet this week.”

“That’s fine, don’t worry about it. I hope he feels better.” I hang up after we say our goodbyes and talk to Sam.

“Drake is sick so we can’t meet him tomorrow.” I turn the radio back up and Stay by Mayday Parade is playing. Sam nods sadly and continues to give Daisy some grapes. “How about tomorrow we go to the park with Daisy and get frozen yogurt after?” Sam nods happily and asks for more food. 

“Alright but don’t give any to Daisy or she’ll get sick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you could comment pretty much anything will be good, just so i know someone is reading. Ill still update, but just wondering if anyone likes it so far.
> 
> Also, I'll be editing this soon cause I know it's shit.


	4. Sour Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashton?

-Chapter 04-

Waking Sam up was always tough as shit, and sleeping next to him was just as hard. During his naps he’ll sleep in his room, but at night he always sleeps with me. Even if I put him in his own bed, minutes later he’s right next to me. After I woke up this morning not only was Sam laying next to me, but so was Daisy, sleeping at the end of my bed. 

“Good Morning Daisy.” I sit up, and pet her for a few minutes. Knowing that when Sam wakes up I won’t be able to get anything done. I get my clothes and towel and take a quick shower. After the shower I put on my black ripped skinny jeans, my black santa cruz shirt and black converse.

“Damn, I’m a good looking daddy.” I go back and get Sams clothes ready for the day. I also grab his bag and start to fill it with the basic essentials like toys, snacks, and clothes. I also grab one of his backpacks and fill it with Daisys’ essentials, a bag of dog food, a water bottle, a small bowl, and doggy bags. I run warm water in the bath, and fill it with bubbles. Once it’s filled I check the time and see it was 1030, a good time to go and try to wake up Sam.

“Babe, you have to wake up.” I whisper shaking him. Sam nods and pets Daisy who was sleeping soundly next to him. “Come on, I have a bubble bath already with your toys in it.” He jumps up and starts walking to the bathroom, and of course Daisy too. Sam takes his clothes off quickly and gets in the tub, not wanting to spend too much time on it, I quickly wash his body and hair. After getting him dressed and sitting through breakfast which consisted of toaster waffles and cold pizza, we were ready to go and it was only 1130. I put on my leather jacket and a beanie to cover my messy hair. I attach the leash to Daisy and grab my keys, wallet, and the bags.

“Sam can you put on this backpack and head to the car?” He nods, takes Daisy and heads to the car. I follow them out, lock the doors and begin the process of putting them in the car. After Sam is buckled up I get in the front seat and ring my mum up.

“Good morning Calum, what are you doing up so early?” She asks yawning. 

“Mrs. Park cancelled our play date, so I’m taking Sam to the park and then we’ll see.” my mum is quiet for a while before she decides to say something.

“What if you run into him?” she whispers. I glance at Sam in my mirror and see him playing with his toys. Of course I was worried about seeing him, I manage not to see him in the media, which was hard by the way. His face was everywhere, but I managed. 

“It’ll be fine. Whatever happens, happens. Don’t worry about it, but if I do, you’ll be the first person to know.” We say our goodbyes and I drive off. There was only a handful of parks around that were animal and kid friendly. We head to Armory Park, which had a nice walking path and playground. When we get there, the park was empty except for the two teens on the bench a few feet away. Sam runs towards the swings and Daisy runs after him, already protective of him. I pick Sam up and put him the baby swings and start to push him. After 5 minutes of him screaming and laughing on the swings, we go to the field and play with Daisy only to find out that she already knew a bunch of basic tricks. While Sam was rolling around with Daisy, she suddenly stood up and started growling in the direction of a tree. Not knowing how she acts when she’s upset, I instantly put the leash on her and grab Sams hand. We walk toward the tree when a tall man with curly dark blonde hair and glasses pops out. 

“Hey Calum.” 

“Ashton?” 

“In the flesh.” He laughs. Sam tugs on my sleeve and covers his mouth.

“Who is that daddy?” he says in what I assume is supposed to be a whisper, but was no where close to a whisper. I bend down so that I’m face to face with Sam.

“Just because you cover your mouth, doesn’t mean they can’t hear you.” Sam smiles and goes to pet Daisy who settled down. “And this is Ashton, an old friend. Go take Daisy to the swings ‘kay.” Sam nods and pulls Daisy with him to the swings.

“Daddy huh?” Ash moves next to me on the bench, watching Sam. “What’s his name?”

“Sam, Sam Hood.” I smile, fondly watching him. 

“How old is he?”

“He’ll be four in two months.” Shocking how fast time has flew, it felt like yesterday I held him for the first time. He looked just like a sea monkey. I laugh at the memory. 

“He looks just like you. You know I almost didn’t recognize you with the beanie and sunglasses ” 

“What gave it away?”

“Your laugh.” He was quiet for a while. “That’s a big ass dog.” He laughs “ I was scared as shit when she started growling at me, she could probably tear my ass apart. Aren’t pit bulls like bad ass dogs, especially with children.?” I roll my eyes at his comment.

“Does she look harmful to you?” I say looking at Sam who was currently being devoured by Daisys licks. You can hear Sams laughter from a mile away.

“No, I guess not.” We sat in silence for a couple minutes. “So are you married?” I laugh and shake my head. “Girlfriend?” Shake my head again. “Baby momma? He says in a weird accent. Again I shake my head, before he can ask another question, Daisy and Sam come running toward me, jumping in my lap.

“Daddy, can we get sour ice cream now?” Ash looks at me confused.

“Yeah we can go now, and it’s called frozen yogurt and it was sour because you wanted lime flavored weirdo.” I laugh pinching his cheek.

“Well, I’ll see you around I guess.” I pick up the bags, put Sam on my hip and grab the leash.

“Can we meet again? I miss talking to you Cal.” 

“I don’t kno-”

“The guys don’t have to know, I promise.”

“I’ll think about it, I miss hanging with you too, but I don’t know. It’s not just me anymore ya know. This is my family. I can chill the same way we used to.” Ashton pull out a paper and hands it to me.

“I get that, I really do and I want to get to know both of you. Let me know okay, here's my number. I won’t even tell the boys I saw you, speaking of them, they’ll be here soon, so you better get going.” He smiles. I nod and walk away. While putting Daisy in her cage I hear a car pull up beside me, not thinking anything of it I continue to buckle Sam up, who had been chanting yogurt since we left Ashton. Once the people from the other car started to talk, I froze. I instantly recognize their voices. The voices I grew up with and learned to love. I quickly buckle Sam up and make sure everything is tight and buckled and jog to the driver seat. As I’m about to drive away I hear a knock on my window. I jump up and push my glasses up higher, and pulling my beanie down lower. I pull down the window, and look straight ahead of me. 

“Uh, I didn’t mean to scare you or anything, but you dropped your toy.” I roll my eyes and recognize the voice as Michaels. 

“HEY THAT’S MY TOY PUNK TELL HIM DADDY.” Sam yells before I get a chance to reply, I laugh and grab the toy from his hands. 

“Thanks” I mumble. I hand the toy back to Sam and wait for him to move his head out of the window. 

“You know you look familiar somehow. Do I kn-”

“Hey guys, took you long enough.” Ashton comes running from the park towards the car. As soon as he moves I pull the window up and drive off. Once we get to the yogurt place I pull out the paper Ashton gave me and quickly typed in his number. I quickly sent a quick ‘Thanks’ and put my phone back in my pocket. I did my whole routine over again, then I tied Daisys’ leash to a pole and told her to sit. Once I made sure the leash was tight enough we head inside. I put Sam on my hip and we get in line. 

“I want the pink and blue one.” Sam says pointing at the cotton candy, putting his face on the glass. I rebalance him on my hip and shake my head.

“No way dude. You won’t sleep for a year, How about the white one and we can get some cookies on it. Sam sighs but nods any way. I get two medium bowls and start to fill it up with Vanilla.

“What do you want on it?”

“Red berries and oreos” I get the chopped strawberries and oreos and pour it onto the yogurt. After paying I sit at the tables outside next to Daisy. I give the bowl to Sam in the seat next to me and pull out the extra bowl in my hand and his backpack. I fill one up with the water I packed earlier and the other with dog food, and place them in front of her. 

I pull my phone and earphones out and hand one of my buds to Sam, stuff it into his ear and start to play my music, cleaning his mouth in the process. Apart from meeting people from my past today, it was pretty nice. Daisy is eating her food and Sam is dancing while eating the strawberries. It’s really peaceful, or well it was until Sam started to cry. Sam hardly cries unless he’s really hurt, even when he was born he didn’t come out crying. The doctor had to slap his feet a few times to get him crying. 

“What’s wrong babe.” I ask sweetly pulling him into my lap and wiping his face with a baby wipe. Sam points to his tongue and continues crying, burying his head in my neck. I put the earphones on him and put on his favorite song, which is Say it ain't So by Weezer. I rub his back until his cries turn into small whimpers. 

“You want to finish this yogurt and go home?” I ask Sam shakes his head no and asks to play games on my phone instead. I nod hand him the phone and finish the rest of the yogurt before throwing it away and putting my babies back into the car. Once we’re in the car and I’m driving, Sam starts to speak.

“Are we gonna see your friend again?” 

“No, I don’t think so. Why?”

“I liked his hair” He says patting his hair down. “Fluffy” he mumbles. I laugh and put the radio louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer I guess


	5. My baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alll thhheessee emmootiiooons

-Chapter 05-

It’s been a month since I saw Ashton at the park. We’ve been texting and he says he wants to come over and hang out. If I’m being honest, I do miss hanging out with him like we used to in his basement with Michael and Luke. Playing Fifa and eating nothing but shit food and pizza. Daisy and Sam were currently napping in his room. 

I start to look through my pictures and videos. I start to feel nostalgic when I come across a video of my stomach, I was almost due and Sam was kicking. I slide to the next few pictures and stop at some mirror selfies Sam and I took. My eyes start to water as I look at all the memories. From his first Halloween, when he was a pumpkin, then he was Blue from Blue’s Clues, and last year he wanted to be a cat. Sam has grown up so fast and he’s turning four soon. He’ll be starting school soon and be out of the house. What the hell am I supposed to do once he’s gone all day. I didn’t realize I was crying until my phone started ringing. I wipe my eyes and clear my throat before answering. 

“Yeah mum?” I answer clearing my throat. 

“Are you crying hon?” She asks using her motherly voice. Knowing that I can’t lie to my mum and tell her honestly.

“ I was looking through my pictures and videos and I got emotional. Sam has grown up so much in so little time ya know. He’s gonna be four in like four weeks, then he has to start school and I’m gonna be alone in the house. What am I supposed to do while he’s at school. Just sit here and stare at the wall?” I choke up, letting a few sobs escape me. 

“I know hon believe me, but that’s not until next year, you still have plenty of time with him. Don’t cry deary.” My mom coos and I nod. Wiping my face and clearing my throat.

“So what did you need mum?” I ask trying to change the subject.

“I was wondering what you were going to do for his birthday. Did you want to have a party or?”

“He saw a commercial about the new Aquarium that open a couple months ago. I was thinking we could go there and come back eat cake and pizza, then open the gifts we got him.”

“That sounds perfect. I’m about to go shopping for him so I’ll talk to you later.” We say our goodbyes and once I get up to wake Sam up my phone rings again.

“Ashton? Why are you calling?” I say sitting back down in my seat. 

“I had a moment alone and thought we could talk.”

“About what.”

“I don’t know, uhm you said Sam was turning four this month right. Maybe I could come over and hang out with you guys maybe.”

“I don’t know, we were gonna go to the aquarium, that’s a pretty public place for such a big celebrity like you.” Ashton laughs causing me to laugh too. I missed him so much. 

“Well can I come by after that. I miss you Cal” Aston says whispering my name. 

“Alright fine, but you better buy Sam a bunch of big ass gifts alright. I’m talking huge. He likes the color yellow, sloths, oreos, anime, ducks, Yes anime don’t laugh at my son his favorites are Naruto, Blue Exorcist, Attack on Titan, and One Punch Man.”

“Jesus, those are some vicious animes. You let him watch Attack on Titan.”

“I am a great Dad you ass. He’s the one that got me into it. First it was Pokemon, obviously then Naruto, and the rest is history. When I saw him watching it, he was so into it and yelled at me when I changed it.” I laugh at the memory “He also listens to your music. He loves it.”

“Really. That’s all good to know I swear I will get him the best gifts ever, to make up for all the time I lost with my best friend and his son.”

 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. His birthday is the 28th, I’ll send you the address that morning, I don’t want you stalking me. I have to wake up Sam now, I’ll see you later.” 

“Okay I’ll see you with a bunch of gifts for Sa- Yeah okay mum. I’ll visit you soon okay Love you.” Ash hangs up and I laugh at his stupidness. I’m excited to see him again. I trudge over to Sams’ room to see he was already awake, playing his toys. 

“You want some music?” I ask walking over to his stereo. He nods and continues to play. I plug my music in and Kings of Leon start playing. I sit down next to him and look at his face. Sam stands up and sits in my lap, he puts his head in my neck and sucks on his index finger, something he only does when he’s sad.

“What’s wrong kid?” I kiss his forehead and make him look at me.

“I don’t like seeing daddy cry.” Sam pouts, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. I wipe his tears and hug him. 

“I don’t like seeing Sam cry, it makes me cry.” He instantly stands up and wipes his face.

“I won’t cry anymore daddy I promise.” he kisses my nose and hugs me. “I’m hungry” He mumbles walking to the kitchen. I grab my phone and follow Sam to the kitchen. I hook up my phone to the speaker and I Miss You by Blink starts to play. I start to look through the pantries and see that we basically have enough of everything to make a decent meal. 

“What do you feel like eating, but actual food this time dude.” He grumbles and moves to his stool and sits on the counter. “The white noodles with the slimy green stuff.” I laugh at his description and take all the ingredients out and put them on the counter. 

“You make it sound so gross” I laugh. “Go get one of your books. We haven’t been practicing lately.” Sam jumps off and races to his room while I set the noodles to boil. Sam comes back and hands me a picture book. 

“You little shit, fine I’ll let you pick this book but you have to spell everything you see okay.” Sam nods and sits up on the counter. Sam grabs the book and opens it and starts spelling shit out while I cook. 

“Daddy how do you spell this one.” He asks pointing at an umbrella. 

“That’s called an umbrella.” I say pronouncing every letter. “Try it” I drain the noodles and pour the sauce in the pot. 

“U-M-B-R-U-L-A”

“That’s close. It’s U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A. Write it down.” He nods and grabs a pen and notebook from the cabinet next to him. “Alright it’s done, get in your seat.”

“Can I use my Kakashi bowl?” Sam asks pushing his seat close to the table. I nod pulling his bowl out. 

“By the way the green slimy stuff is called spinach and the white noodles are Alfredo.” he gives the okay symbol and continues to put his face in his bowl making sauce go all over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting somewhere, sorry it's a bit short. I don't want this story to be fast pace. All in due time.


	6. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's Birthday

-Chapter 06- 

I woke up crying this morning. My baby is finally four. I called my mum this morning and asked if she could come over and watch Sam so I can go to the store and get stuff to make his favorite breakfast. After I showered and brush my teeth I put on my usual outfit consisting of my black jeans, leather jacket, converse and NASA shirt. 

“Alright mum, I’ll be back in like 30 minutes top. I was gonna do this last night, but Sam didn’t want to get ready or leave Daisy. And once Sam fell asleep, so did I.” I ramble, running around putting my shoes on and grabbing my wallet and keys.

“It’s fine hon. Just be careful.” She gives me a me a kiss on the cheek and I’m on my way. Once I get to the store, I speed walk around the store, trying to grab everything Sam likes. My phone vibrates and I check it. 

Ash:  
Address dude

Me:  
Soz. its XXXXXXXXX (watev)

I put my phone away and continue walking, making my way to the poptarts. As soon as I’m turning into the aisle someone walking out bumps into my car. 

“Sorry dude,” 

“Fine”

“Calum? Whats up dude.” Before I can answer I’m pulled into a tight hug.

“Michael. Hi” I shift around nervously checking the time on my phone.

“Are you in a hurry or do you just hate me?”

“What. No. I don’t hate you, I’m just in a hurry. It’s my son's birthday and I came to get his favorite food, he should be waking up soon so I need to hurry. Sorry.”

“Son? Wow, that’s life for you. What’s his name?”

“Sam, now look I’ve missed you but I really need to go. Maybe I’ll see you around.” I rush past him, but he grabs my arm. 

“What do you mean maybe, Cal we’re friends.”

“I know, but I’m trying to avoid certain people, people you live with.” Michael gives me a sad smile and nods. 

“I get it. Your secret is safe with me. Meet me at the cafe we used to hang out. Tomorrow. I’ll be there all day. Bring Sam.” I nod quickly and grab the rest of the stuff I need and pay. I go to the car and check my phone to see if my mum called me. All I see is that Ash had texted me again.

Ash:  
What time should I come?

Me:  
I’m not sure. I’ll let you know. Unless you have something to do. It’s fine if you can’t make it. 

Ash:  
Don’t worry. I’ll be there for sure. :) 

I smile and drive off, excited to see my friend. I get home and see my mum just getting Sam up. I go to the kitchen and start cooking. I make chocolate chip and banana pancakes, hash browns, and eggs. I put some candles on top of his pancakes and call Sam out.

“I’m coming.” Sam sings coming out of the bathroom. “Hi daddy.” Sam smiles giving me a hug and climbs into his seat. 

“Happy Birthday Baby.” I coo and leave kisses all of his face. My mum comes in and we sing to Sam. 

“So I ran into Michael at the store, and Ash is coming tonight.” I mumble shoving pancakes into my mouth. My mums eyes widen. 

“You haven’t seen Luke?” I nod my head and stand up, getting more orange juice. 

“Mike wants me to meet him at our old hangout spot tomorrow, and he wants me to bring Sam too. I don’t know if I should. What if he tells Luke. I might ask Ash tonight.” I wipe Sams face and clean his hands. 

“LET’S GO” I yell grabbing Sams hand and his bag. My mum grabbing my wallet and keys, along with her purse.  
-  
We spent all day at the aquarium, we got to touch catfish, stingrays, starfish, and different types of anemones. Sam was excited to see that they had a little exhibit for animals in the rainforest, and luckily there was a sloth. We spent about 20 minutes looking at the Sloth move slowly on the branches. Everytime we tried to get him to move away he started to cry. Sam fell asleep on our way back to the house and I texted Ash, telling him that we were on our way and he could come over in 20 minutes since we were only 5 minutes away.  
“I’m just gonna drop you guys off, I need to pick up Sams cake from the bakery and get the gifts from the house.” I nod and turn to the back seat. I take my phone out a take a few pictures of Sam who was clutching onto the stuffed penguin he begged for. My mum pulls up to the driveway and I quickly hop out the car and grab Sam and his things. I close the door and she drives off. Once I get the door opened I lay him down on the couch and take out the party shit. I blow up some balloons and tie them on random shit along with some streamers. I take the gifts I got for Sam out of the closet and set it on the ground by the t.v. I get a text from Ash saying that he’s sorry and then I get a knock on my door. I open my door and see Michael giving a wide smile, Ashton hiding behind him. Each with a handful of gifts. 

“Be quiet, he’s sleeping.” I mumble glaring at Ashton and closing the door. They tip toe inside and freeze when they see Daisy sitting in front of Sam, eyeing their every move. I sit next to Sam and pet Daisy, who instantly closes her eyes and lays down. The boys put the gifts down with the others and sit on the ground.

“So care to tell me why both of you are here, instead of just the one?”

“I was in the shower when you texted me and Mikey saw your text.”

“Really Ash, you didn’t have me under a chicks name or something stupid like that.” I roll my eyes about to scold Michael about going through people’s phones when Sam started to stir. I instantly get up grab his sippy cup and fill it up with juice and ice, getting it to him just in time. I sit down and Sam crawls into my lap, sipping his juice and stares at the two strange men sitting on the floor. 

“I don’t think he likes us.”

“I feel very intimidated.” 

“You should be” I laugh. Sam hands me his now empty cup and smiles at them. “He’s awake now, you want more juice?”

“Pink please.” I nod and fetch him his juice, handing it to him. “Tell them who you are.” I push him up and he nods. 

“My name is Sam, thr- no four years old. My dad is Calum and I li-” he recites, his lisp evident. 

“You just had to tell them your age and name, The rest is for getting lost.”he nods and stands up quickly and walk over to Ash. 

“Fluffy” He mumbles patting Ashtons hair. He giggles leaning into Sams touch. “Who are you?” he looks at Michael, who looks like a deer caught in a headlight. 

“M-Michael.” Sam walks over and pats his hair. “Blue”

“Can I get some help?” My mom says walking through the door. Mike and Ash jump up and help my mom get the stuff out the car. Once everything is settled my mum hugs the boys and hands them a beer that she just bought. We talk throughout the night, Sam showing them dances, and his toys. We sang to him and ate cake. After he got to open gifts excited with all the stuff he got.

“You know I was joking when I said you had to get him big shit.” I laugh looking at all the stuff surrounding Sam. 

“Ooh. Daddy said a bad word” Sam says pointing at me. 

“Shut up and say thanks for your gifts.” Sam nods and gives everyone a kiss on the cheek saying a quick thanks. I glance at my phone and see that it’s 730, way past Sams bedtime. “Alright, say good night because it’s past your bedtime kiddo. Let’s put your new pajamas and get to sleep okay.” He nods and runs to his room. After we get him dressed he races to my room gets under the covers.

“Good night Daddy.”

“Good night babe.” I kiss his cheek and walk out the room and closing the door. Daisy squeezing in last second. 

“Alright he’s asleep.” I mutter jumping on the couch. My mum bids us a goodbye and leaves.

“I. am. So. in. love. With. your. Kid.” Michael says scrolling the new pictures of Sam on his phone. Making me smile. 

“Yeah I love him too.” I smile glancing on his pictures on the wall. 

“But in all seriousness. Where’s the mum?”

“There is no mum.”

“She left you guys? Well that’s fuck-”

“No, Mike. There was never a chick dude. I gave birth to him.” The boys eyes grew wide. 

“That means you got pregnant after we left?” I shake my head. 

“You were already pregnant, and that’s why you broke it off with Luke.” I nod and close my eyes. 

“ Why, did you break it off with Luke. He would do anything for you.” Michael says, getting a bit mad. 

“I don’t regret what I did. Not for a second.” I take a swig at my beer and he rolls his eyes. “Look, you don’t have to like or agree with what I did, but if I told Luke, you guys would have never gone on tour. When you left I was already a month. Luke thought I broke up with him because I was upset about him going on tour, he said he would cancel the tour and stay with me. So I lied and told him that I found someone else. That was the only way to let him go. Yeah it hurt like a bitch, but that’s over now. Your lives were just beginning, I didn’t want to be the ones to hold you back. I did just fine, and I’m still doing great. You don’t need to worry about me.” I chug the rest of my beer and look at them, waiting for them to say something else. 

“Are you ever gonna tell Luke?” Ashton says grabbing another beer from the fridge. 

“Nah, probably not. He most likely hates me and plus it would seem that I’m just doing it to get money since you’re all celebrities now.” I laugh 

“You know that isn-” 

“Look guys,” I interrupt. “ I miss talking to you guys so let's not spend it talking about shit we can’t change. Instead let’s talk about all the crazy shit you do on tour and your crazy ass fans.” They laugh and agree. That’s how we spend the rest of the night laughing, and sharing stories, like what it's like to be pregnant and give birth, and tour life. We spent all night laughing, until Luke called asking where they were. 

“You guys aren’t going to tell him right. I can trust you guys?”

“Even though I think this whole thing sucks ass, it’s not my business. So I won’t say anything.” Michael sighs and Ashton agrees. I hug them and walk them to the door. 

“Thanks for all the gifts Ash, it really made him happy. I’ve never seen him so excited.” 

“Can we still meet tomorrow? All three of us. We can make it a date. Ash and I will plan everything. You just gotta be there. Please?”

“Just us right, no funny business.”  
“Cross my heart.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow.” I hug them again and they went on their way. I clean the kitchen and pick up the mess of papers and bags everywhere from when Sam was opening his gifts. Too tired to take a shower, I lay in bed next to Sam and try to fall asleep. Once I finally get comfortable, my phone starts blowing up. Sam starts to stir in his sleep so I quickly grab my phone and walk to the couch. I check my phone to see who the fuck is ruining my sleep and see that fucking dumbass one and dumbass two added me into a fucking group chat.

Ash:  
Calum are you sleeping  
CALUM ARE YOU SLEEPING  
Are you sure he liked my gifts  
Yooowhhooo  
Psst  
Calum  
You’re sleeping right

Mikey:  
Of course he’s fucking sleeping he has a son

Ash:  
I was just asking, why do you always to be so mean

Mikey:  
Why do you ask dumb fucking questions

Me:  
Can you guys fucking not, you almost woke Sam up. If you want to see us tomorrow shut up so we can sleep

Ash:  
Sorry Cal

Mikey:  
You sound like my fucking mum.

Ash:  
Cause he is a mum

Me:  
I’m not a fucking woman you dicks  
Mikey:  
Yeah yeah go to bed now you old lady

Me:  
Fuck off you bag of dicks

Ash:  
Night Cally

I put my phone back onto the charger and lay down with Sam. Finally falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. Cake shall rise. I swear.


	7. Wow that hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. No wifi. I hope you enjoy this. 
> 
> I didn't edit this before I posted it. Oops. I'll fix it later.

07:

I wake up to Sam sitting on my chest and Daisy licking my ears.

“Well good morning sunshine” I pull him into a hug and leave kisses all over his face, using my free hand to pet Daisy. I slowly start to fall asleep with Sam and Daisy when I hear my front door being opened. I don’t think anything of it since my mum has a key, so I shrug it off and keep my eyes close. About a minute later all three of us jump up when we hear a squeal. Daisy growls and Sam hides under the blanket. I look up to see Ash and Mikey standing in front of my bed with their phones out.

“What the fuck are you doing here. How the fuck did you get in.” I yell throwing pillows at them, Sam joining in. 

“You guys are so cute when you sleep.” Ash scrolls through his phone while sitting on my bed.

“And how we got in, well that’s a different story.” Mikey laughs sitting on the bean bag in the corner of the room.

“Do tell before I cut you.” 

“Ugh fine. I forgot you’re not a morning person. Long story short, we broke in. Well kinda. We tried to pick the lock but we didn’t know how so we tried to find a spare key outside like under a rock or in a plant, oh by the way you need new roses, but we still couldn’t find the key. We tried to find an open window or maybe an unlocked door, but nothing. So we were about to resort to the very last option, we were gonna break the window in front and climb in, but then your mum pulled up and let us in.” Ash nods agreeing with everything Mikey was saying. 

“Jesus Christ why didn’t you just fucking knock on the door like a normal person.”

“Uhm because we would have woken you up.” Ash says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“And you don’t think breaking my fucking window would wake me up. Are you insane?” Sam was watching the whole thing quietly from my lap. It was quiet for a moment before Michael spoke up. 

 

“In my defense we would have done it quietly. Knocking is just plain rude all the time. Hey you got any pizza left?” he walks to the kitchen opening the fridge. Sam following happily at the sound of pizza.

“Anyways, I thought we were meeting later at 1030.” I grab Sams’ cold pizza and put it in the microwave making him groan. 

“Bro it’s already 11.” I choke on my drink and check the clock on my phone showing that it was indeed 11, along with 5 miss calls, 2 missed alarms and 40 texts. It explains why Sam was up before me. 

“Holy shit guys, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, we knew you were sleeping.” I nod and hand Sam his pizza back along with orange juice.

“I thought you said my mum unlocked the door. Where is she?”

“Oh yeah she did, but she was on her way to work so she unlocked it and left.”

“Okay let me just get him dres-”

“Actually there is no need for that.”

“Uhm why not?”

“Cause we’re sleeping over.” Mike plops down on my couch and starts flipping through channels. 

“Why?”

“Cause we missed our best friend.”

“What about your other best friend, the one you live with?”

“Oh, you mean Luke. We made up a lie and told him we were staying over at my cousins for the weekend. He hates my cousins so when we invited him to come with he instantly said no.” Ash laughs shoving another pizza in his mouth and giving Sam another one.

“Hey no more he’ll get a stomach ache.” I push the pizza away and send Sam to play with his new toys.

“He asked for one.” Ash says sadly.

“Yeah because he sees you eating it, anyways what if Luke said yes, what would you have done, even though he hates your cousins, he hates being alone even more.” I sigh, sitting next to Michael who's been quiet the whole time. 

“Shit you’re right.” Ash laughs and sits next to me on the couch. 

“Cal is right though Ash, what if he calls and says he misses us or wants to come despite your annoying ass cousins.” 

“Can you not swear so much in front of my child. Geez do you not have any manners.” 

“Sorry” He mumbles.

“Don’t worry. We’ll cross that bridge if it gets here.” 

“Can we play?” Sam asks bringing his toys to Michael who looks shocked and scared. He nods and sits on the ground next to him. 

“So what are we playing?” They continue to talk and play while I sit on the couch with Ash and talk about nonsense. 

“Daddy can we eat that one thing we got from the store with the playground in it. Remember when I wore my red shoes.” I nod and put my shoes on. 

“I need to buy the stuff though.”

“You understood that?” Ash asks with wide eyes.

“Yeah he’s talking about a burger. I took him to Maccas the other day and he got to play with some kids.” I put my coat and beanie on and grab my wallet. “Sam, can you watch our friend so I can go to the store with Ash?” I laugh at Michaels face and Sam nods, giggling.

“I will take good care of him daddy. Can I get a present from the store?” He gives me his puppy dog eyes and I give in.

“Only if you’re good. Call me if you have questions Mike. We’ll be gone, an hour at the most.” I lock the door and get in Ash’s car since they’re blocking mine. 

“What store?” He asks driving off. 

 

“The closest one is fine.” I reach and turn on the radio and sing along. “It’s been so long since I’ve been in a car without a baby.” I laugh.

“Dude I can’t believe that one, you’re a fucking parent. Two, you fucking gave birth. That’s fucking wicked you can take a bullet and not fucking die, and thirdly you’re my fucking hero.” For some reason I blush and try to hide it by laughing and covering my mouth. 

“You’re dumb dude, turn to this store.” I laugh sitting up straighter. He parks and squeezes my knee.  
“I really did miss you kid.” 

“I missed you too Ash.” I pull him in for a quick hug and hop out the car. “Now lets get my kid some food.

“So what exactly are we getting?” Ash grabs a cart and follows me into the store.

“Just the essentials. My baby wants burgers, so I’ll just buy all the shit he likes on a burger.” I pull the buns off the shelf and put it into the cart. 

“Man you’re whipped” He laughs adding the whipping sound. I roll my eyes and move to the next aisle.

“It’s not being whipped. I’m not dating him, he’s my son. You’ll understand when you have kids.” I put a couple more shit in the cart and move on.

“Any way, he’s a kid so like doesn't he just like cheese on his burger?” I laugh and shake my head. 

“I wish it was that simple. He likes tomato, avocado, lettuce, and tomato. The only thing is that he can’t really pick up a burger yet, so I have to cut it up into squares and give it to him. Gosh he’s so cute and he doesn’t really eat the bread because he’s too busy eating the avocado, and everything else that he gets to full to eat the bread, but he insists that I put it on his plate because I eat the bread.” I smile and didn’t even realize we had stopped walking. I look at Ash and see he has a smile on his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was rambling so much.” I keep walking and add more stuff into the cart.

“Don’t worry about it. You look so excited every time you talk about Sam. It’s cool.” Ash laughs and slaps me on my back. My phone starts ringing and see that Michael is calling. I answer and put the call on speaker.

“Hello?” It’s quiet for a moment and I hear groaning.

“Hello?” groaning, then giggling.

“Hi daddy” Sam says on the phone and laughs. Ash looks at me confused and I shrug my shoulders.

“Hey baby, where is Michael?” the groaning gets louder

“He’s on the floor.” shuffling 

“Why?” Sam laughs some more  
“We were playing and he fallded on the pillow” Sams laugh gets higher and louder. Ashton and I laugh and we hear more groaning.

“Alright I have to go so I can buy your present okay. Help Mikey and be good okay.”

“Okay daddy. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hang up and continue shopping when Ashton groans.

“Calum, you make me want to have a kid.” He yells and stomps his foot like a kid. “I want someone calling me daddy in that cute voice agh I’m so jealous Calum.” I laugh and he pouts. 

“Then get yourself a boyfriend with a daddy kink, you my boy are not ready for a kid.” He crosses his arms and scoffs.

“Oh yeah. Why aren’t I ready, and what made you ready?”

“You my dude aren’t ready because you’re going on tour again soon right, and also I wasn’t ready. Not in the slightest.” I walk off to the meat section, Ashton following behind.

“Wow Calum, you’re so wise now. Like a real legit parent.”

“Fuck you dude I am real parent. I fucking gave birth to him. Why the fuck do you guys keep saying shit like that.” I turn the corner and almost fall, bumping into a tall ass person. I look up and freeze when I see who it is. His bright eyes staring into mine.

“S-Sorry” I mumble and try to walk away but he holds onto my arm.

“C-Calum, is that really you.” He pulls me into a tight hug and I feel my eyes water and my throat close. He still smells the same. I can see Ashton with wide eyes as he stands there awkwardly. I quickly blink the water out of my eyes and pull away. Luckily my phone starts to ring again and it’s Michael. 

“Hello.”

“Sam wants to talk” 

“Hi daddy, are you almost home?” hearing his voice makes me feel better. 

“Yeah baby. I just need to get your present. Are you being nice to Mikey?”

“Yes daddy I promise.” I laugh and I say goodbye. I hear someone clear their throat and my smile falls. I put my phone in my pocket and look up at them. I don’t even know how it’s possible but he looks even better than before. 

“I’m sorry but I really need to go” I look at Ashton and he nods instantly following behind me,

“W-Wait, Calum who were you on the phone with.”

“My kid.”

“Y-Yeah uh Luke, we’ll talk later okay.” Ashton mumbles following behind me a couple aisles down. 

“Hey Calum, are you okay?” Ash walks beside me and glances at my face.

“Dude. I’m fine let’s just get out of here, we’ve been here for 30 minutes and I still need to get Sam his toy.” I put the last thing in the cart and we head off to the cashier. 

“I think there is a little toy store near here.” Ash says putting the bags into the car. “ What do you plan on getting him?” We get into the car and drive to the toy store he mentioned earlier.

“Honestly I don’t even know. He has enough toys and you bought him most of the shit he likes for his birthday, so I have no fucking clue.” He nods and turns the radio on. After a couple of minutes we get there. We walk through the aisles and nothing. He either has it already, or wouldn’t like it at all. 

“HEY CALUM WHAT ABOUT THIS” I hear Ashton yell from another part of the store and roll my eyes at his loudness. He really hasn’t changed. Once I find him, I see him holding a sloth that goes up to his knees. I nod and we go to the cashier. Ashton offers to pay and I let him. 

“Are you sure your okay?” he asks as we pull out of the parking lot and drive home. 

“I’m a little shook up, but I guess I’m okay. I don’t know if I’ll be able to see him again though. When I saw him I froze. It felt like I was looking at him forever. When he hugged me it was like we hadn’t broken up and we were back to how we were three years ago. I don’t know man. It’s gonna be hard talking to him, especially with Sam, I mean the kid has his eyes and fucking noodle legs. No doubt that he’s pretty stupid so he won’t be able to put it all together but he might. Also if he finds out that Sam is his, then what. He’s going to want to stay here and help raise Sam, get back together. I have no idea what to do. If I’m being completely honest I didn’t think I would ever see you any of you guys again. Luke finding out about Sam will be the worst not because I’m embarrassed of Sam. He’s my whole life now and I love him, but if Luke finds out about him, I know he’ll want to stay. But if he does, you and Mikey won’t go on tour or make music anymore. I don’t want to take that away from you guys ever. That’s all you’ve guys ever talked about since we were kids. I don’t want you guys to lose it all. I don’t want you guys to hate me for ruining your lives. I love you guys. All I want is for you guys to be happy.” I hold back a sob and wipe my cheeks that I didn’t know were wet. I look up and see that we were already in front of my house. Ash pulls me into a tight hug and rubs my back.

“You’re so selfless Calum. There is nothing you could ever do to make us hate you. If Luke decides to stay then we’ll support him because we love you and Sam. But lets not worry about that until it gets here okay. For now lets just focus on the time we have right now with Sam okay.” I nod and pull away.

“Ash, what if Luke hates me for not telling him and he wants nothing to do with us.”

“Then he’s an fucking dick face, c’mon Mikey texted me a shit ton saying he’s hungry.” I laugh and hug him again.

“Thanks Ash.” We walk into the house to see that Sam is sitting on top of Mikey.

“We’re home” Ash yells taking the backs to the kitchen. 

“Finally, I’m starving.” Mike groans. I follow Ash to the kitchen and start cooking. In the corner of my eye I see Michael and Ash whispering in the corner and bust out laughing. Ash nods and comes up to me with his phone on front of his face. 

“What the duck are you idiots doing?” I mutter when I notice Michael doing the same thing as Ash. 

“Did you just say duck, like on purpose?” They laugh and I nod.

“Don’t try to change the subject jerks, what are you guys doing?”

“Well, we are recording history in the making. We finally get to see you cook and for once we don’t need the extinguisher.”

“What do you mean. I’m a great flipping cook.” I say flipping the patties. 

“Well we wouldn’t know because you burned everything you cooked. Ash remember that time when we were in your basement and Cal put the hot pocket in the microwave and in like 30 second the microwave blew up in flames.” They bust out laughing, and I pout.

“That wasn’t my fault guys. You know that. Watch I’m gonna blow your minds with my food right here.” They laugh and keep their phones on me. “Are you guys fucking recording me?” I yell they nod and come up to me.

“So whatcha cooking today Chef Cally.” Mike grabs the spatula and puts it up to my mouth waiting for my answer. 

“Ah, well I’m making patties right now.” I say in an irish accent and Ash laughs.

“Patties that’s it. No special name or anything.”

“Why would I need a special name they’re fucking patties.” I cover my mouth, forgetting that Sam was watching from his seat with a disapproving face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are like almost there, also if you want or if you're feeling kind, I started a new 5sos fanpage on instagram. I'm mainly just posting edits cause like I missed them ya know. Just comment something about Sam and I'll follow you back. @/soseditss


	8. Susuie Q.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drunksos is emotionalsos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> filler i think sorry

Ch08

“Alright Michael you can stop complaining. The food is done.” Michael jumps up from the couch and runs to the kitchen. “You complain more than Sam, who's 4 years old.” The boys grab the food while I serve Sam, whose been really quiet. Which is super weird and not like him. I pick him up from his seat and take him to my room, closing the door. 

“What’s wrong babe?” I sit him in front of me and he shrugs his shoulders, sitting on my lap instead. “C’mon. Remember when you’re sad, daddy is too.” Sam hugs me tighter and puts his head in my neck. I kiss his cheek and rub his back. “I got you some avocados, and Ash has a surprise for you after dinner. Sam jumps up and runs to his seat. I follow him and give him his food and he munches happily on the avocados. I serve myself and sit next to the boys on the table. 

“Bro, you’re food is ducking bomb” I laugh and roll my eyes. 

“Whatever it’s just because you were hungry. Like always.” Ash laughs and puts his burger down.

“No way Cal, this burger is legit, ducking awesome.” It was quiet for a few minutes, us eating with the radio in the background and Sam asking for more tomatoes. 

“Daddy music.” Sam reminds me and I turn the radio on. I sit back down and we listen to the music. 

“We saw Luke at the store today.” Ash mumbles and Mikey looks at me with wide eyes. 

“Did he see you guys? Did you talk? Geez Calum are you okay?” Michael starts mumbling all these questions.

“Yes, he saw us. Yes we talked, and I guess I’m okay.” I throw some fries in my mouth and avoid their eyes. 

“What did he say to you?” 

“Uhm, nothing really he just hugged me and then you called, so I left and then he asked who I was just talking to and I said I was talking to my kid and then left. That’s pretty much all that happened.” I continue eating as does Ashton. “Why are you so stunned?” 

“Did he really hug you?” He ignores my question and looks at Ashton, who just nods.

“What you don’t believe me?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, I just can’t believe Luke did that. Wait I take that back. I completely believe he did that.” he laughs and stuffs his face again. 

“Wait why would you say that?” His eyes go wide and looks at Ashton who is also starring with wide eyes. 

“C’mon what are you guys not telling me?” 

“Nothing Calum, really Michael is just being stupid.” Michael nods and stuffs more food in his mouth, adding to his previous mouth full. Sam stands on the table and hands him his sippy cup.

“Daddy says you can choke” Michael starts to speak but chokes on his first word. Sam gasps and jumps on him patting his back.

“See daddy is always right.” Ashton laughs and I hand Michael some of my juice, who gladly accepts it. After he’s done dying he thanks Sam and continues eating. 

“You know he talks a lot for someone who just turned four yesterday. My siblings were barely talking at four.” Ash glances at Sam who is eating peacefully. 

“Calum, Sam is gonna be a genius.” Michael shouts out. 

“I know a genius” He says in a sing song voice, throwing Sam more fries from his plate. Sam squeals and grabs them off the table and puts them on his plate. 

“When Sam was born, I was alone. My mom couldn’t get any time off from work so it was just me. I mean my mom was there the day he was born and to helped me on the weekends after that, but only on weekends and holidays. Since I was alone all I did was talk to Sam. I told him what I was thinking, feeling, everything and he would just look up at me with his big gray eyes.-” I smile at the memory. “- It was like he knew everything I was saying, and was actually listening. It was like those first few years when all he could do was listen, I didn’t have any secrets or anything. I told him everything. Since all I did was talk, he started talking at a young age. I mean it was mainly mumbling and weird ass sounds, but I knew everything he was trying to say. His words became so clear when he turned two. His first words make me so sad, I mean it was a magical moment, but at the time I felt so lonely ya know, it was just me. I thought he was sleeping so I sat in the bean bag chair and started to cry. I don’t remember why but I remember feeling so fucked up. I didn’t hear him get up so he sat in front of me and kissed my face. He looked at me with big eyes and said “Daddy cry”. I felt shitty cause like, those had to be his first words.” I look at Sam and see him drinking his juice in front of the t.v. “It seems like a sad memory but it’s actually happy cause I don’t feel that way anymore. Since that day I haven’t felt like that.” I continue eating and Michael gets another beer. 

“That’s rough dude.” Ash takes another swig of his beer and leans back. “I can’t believe you had to go through all that by yourself. I could never.”

“Kind of wish you told us. I mean we would’ve been there ya know like helped with everything, but I know why you didn’t. Just knowing now of everything you went through by yourself fucking hurts cause you were always the person we went to for our problems and when you needed us, we weren’t even in the country.” Michael puts his head down and I can tell he’s getting a bit drunk since this was his fifth beer. When he’s drunk he gets emotional, it’s cute. Ashton rubs his back and looks at me. 

“At least you know now, and it’s not to late, he’s gonna remember you guys forever.” Mikey jumps up and points at me. 

“How do you know that huh.” He mumbles, putting his head on the table. 

“In the baby books it says that kids don’t usually start to contain memories until they’re like 4 to 5. Since you guys are here now, he’s not gonna remember when you weren’t.” Michael nods and drinks the rest of his beer. 

“Daddy” Sam pulls my shirt and I see that all his clothes are off except for his underwear.

“What happened to your clothes?” I laugh and see Michael and Ash taking pictures or something on their phones.

“I took them off.” He points to the pile of clothes on the ground in front if the t.v.

“Why?” He rolls his eyes, well attempts to but it just looks like he’s looking up, and sighs. 

“I didn’t like them right now.” We laugh and Sam starts dancing to the song on the radio, which just so happened to be a 5SOS song. Without realizing I’m recording on both phones while Sam dances and attempts to sing along. Michael and Ash are playing the air guitar and dancing with Sam. Once the song was over they collapsed on the floor and laughed. I stopped recording and handed their phones back. 

“Daddy can I have my present now.” Ash gasps and runs out to his car, a minute later he comes back in trying to hide the huge sloth behind his back. Sam sits up excitedly and squeals. Ash sits in front of him and pulls the Sloth in front of him. It’s quiet for a moment and we all stare at each other in anticipation. Sams face is blank for a while and I fear he might not like his gift, and Ash literally picked it and payed for it so I know he will be crushed if Sam doesn't like it. My fear vanishes as we hear Sam squeal and squeeze the poor sloth. Sam runs up to hug me but i stop him. 

“I didn’t get it for you.” I bend down and point to Ash. Sam runs towards Ash and hugs his knees. Ash bends down and gives him a proper hug. 

“What do you say Sam” 

“Thanks Uncle Ashy her name is Susie Q” Sam gives him a kiss on the cheek and runs to his room with his new sloth. Ash falls on the ground and clutches his heart. 

“Anyways” Michael laughs “You still got those baby books” I nod and grab them, bringing them to the table. They take the books to the corner of the room and start reading. Every once in a while, they’ll gasp out loud and call Sam over, making him do whatever they just read. Then they high five each other when Sam actually does it. Like naming the parts of the body. I grab two beers from the fridge and take it to them. I go back and start cleaning the kitchen. I see Ashtons phone on the counter buzzing. 

“Hey Ash-” I start but stop when I see my name on the screen. I look and see that he has 50+ messages from Luke. Not wanting to snoop I quickly put the phone down and continue cleaning. Five minutes later Ash comes up to me and reaches for his phone. He lets out a long sigh, grabs a beer and sits on the table.I put the sponge down and take off my gloves and sit next to him. 

“You okay?” He grumbles and puts his head on the table. I laugh and rub his back.

“It feels just like my mum rubbing my back.” I laugh and he picks his head up and looks at me. “Are you gonna tell Luke Sam is his.” I groan knowing this was coming.

“I don’t know if we’ll even see him.” Ash glares and I continue. “Okay if he specifically asks if he is the dad, then I will say yes. Only if he specifically asks that question.” I take a sip of his beer and look at him. “Why are you asking?”

“Luke has been blowing up my phone all night. Ever since he saw us at the store.” he scrolls through the messages and sighs.

“Is he mad?” I bite my lip, feeling guilty that they will get into a huge fight about us.

“Nah, he’s drunk so most of it is nonsense. Like he keeps calling me the ‘Captain of the Traitor Squad. And different memes” he giggles and shakes his head, stuffing his phone in his pocket. 

“Drunk?” 

“Well yeah, what do you expect he just saw the love of his life for the first time in three years, finds out that he has a kid and is probably married, also finds out that his other friends already knew this and didn’t tell him.” He takes another drink. “But don’t worry Cal, pretty sure he went to his mums house to get drunk.” He grabs another beer and sits on the couch with Sam and Michael. My heart stops and my throat closes. What Ashton says keeps replaying in my head, swirling around my mind. Word for word. I scrub harder and faster trying to get the words out for good, but nothing it’s like the harder I scrub the louder Ashton’s voice gets. I go to the hallway closet to grab the broom and when I open the door I see 3 huge cases of beer.

“YOU GUYS BROUGHT 3 CASES OF FUCKING BEER. FOR ONE NIGHT.” I stomp over to where they’re sitting and take the baby book away.

“Geez you look like my fucking mum standing there like that.” Ashton flicks his forehead and scolds him for cursing, Sam laughs and flicks Michael where Ash did it.”

“Why the hell did you bring so much beer for one night?” 

“It’s not for just one night.” Ash giggles, I roll my eyes knowing that the beer was starting to kick in. 

“What do you mean? I thought you were just sleeping over tonight?”

“We are, but we’re gonna come over like every day until we leave on tour.” Michael slurs. 

“Yeah, we’re not letting you get away this time.” Ash giggles and grabs the book out of my hand.

“C’mon Sam it’s bedtime. Say goodnight to them.”

“Yeah Sam come say goodnight to your uncles.” They giggle. Sam gives them a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight Mikey, Goodnight Ashy.” We walk to our room and before I close the door I hear squealing.

“Holy shit I think I’m in love Ashton.” I laugh and get him dressed.

“I had a bunch of fun with your friends daddy.” Sam smiles and pulls Daisy closer to him along with Susie Q.

“I’m glad. If you wanna see something funny, tomorrow call them Uncle Mikey and Uncle Ashy okay. It’ll be so funny. Sam nods and giggles. “Goodnight baby.” I kiss his cheek, turn on the night light and close the door. I walk into the living room and see Ashton crying. I grab a blanket, and tissues. I sit across from them and throw the tissues, which they catch. 

“Why are you crying dude.” I laugh and wrap the blanket up to my neck. 

“Sam is just so cute-” he sniffles and sits up straighter. “- and we just started imagining him like when he was first born and Michael started snooping and we found the pictures. It’s so cute. Cal you looked like a pumpkin.” I laugh and move over to where they were sitting on the love seat. I squish in between them and grab the book.

“I was gone for like two minutes.” I laugh. They get under the blanket and we snuggled together, making my heart feel warmer than this blanket was keeping me. Ash wanted to start from the beginning of the book and made me tell the story behind every picture because ‘bastard we weren’t there to witness it’ So here I am, telling them the story of right before I’m about to have Sam, my mum managed to take a picture even though I practically begged her not to. 

“So how did you give birth exactly cause like I know girls push and it comes out the vagina, but like if you pushed would it come out of your dick or butt?” Ashton laughs and I punch Michael. 

“Neither dick wad. I had a c-section. Duh.” I turn to the next picture and they stop me. I groan. “They cut me open and took Sam out, then closed me back up.”

 

“Do you have a scar.”

“A light one, thankfully.” I lift my shirt up and show them. 

“That’s a badass battle wound.” I laugh and we go through the pictures.

“What’s that one?” Michael points to a picture where Sam and I are at a huge rock and he is smiling brightly and my eyes and kinda red from crying.” I smile at the picture and laugh. 

“Nah, it’s pretty embarrassing so I’m not really going to tell you.” I go to flip the next page but they start groaning. 

“We already told you that you can’t do that. No matter how embarrassing it is.”

“Fine, so we had just got back from his psych exam, and like he didn’t need it but I just wanted to make sure everything was going how it’s supposed to. When he was done being examined the Psychologist told me that like even though he can barely talk clearly cause he like just turned three, all he did was talk about all the stuff we do and how fun I am and just like all that and I was feeling emotional because I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. So after that he wanted to climb this mini mountain by the office and when we drove up there, we just started walking around and there was this big ass rock he wanted to climb so like I let him. When he is fully up there he yells out “I love you daddy.” - they smile- “and it’s not the first time he said but it’s the first time he said it so clearly. When he would say it is was like “ I ya you” so then I cried for like 5 minutes and my mum had to calm me down. Hold on my mum recorded it.” I grab my phone and show them the video, that took a couple minutes to find.

“Do you have a video of how he used to say it.?” I nod and showed them. 

“How long did you cry that time?” Michael laughs handing my phone back. 

“An hour, my mom had to come over.” I laugh at the memory. 

“Holy shit, you hardly ever cried before.” Ash nods.

“I know but he’s just to pure. I cry for everything now. It fucking sucks bro.” It’s quiet for a few minutes. The boys are on their phone, checking instagram and twitter.

“Is it hard?” I ask glancing at their phones.

“Is what hard?” Michael locks his phone and looks at me. 

“Being famous, I mean like constantly having to hide and like nothing is private.”

“I mean at first it was, cause like none of us were prepared like at all. It was annoying too, but we just kinda learned to love it.” Ash nods still on his phone.

“At least you don’t have to worry about not getting likes or a response.” I laugh.

“Are you on anything?” I shake my head.

“After everything I deleted everything so all I have on my phone is like games and youtube. Sam likes to watch your videos.” Ash and Michael glance at each other and tackle me, taking my phone. 

“What the fuck” I groan and weakly try to take my phone back, which obviously didn’t work.

“What are you guys doing?” They move away and I groan. “Jesus fuck, I’m not gonna take it from you, just show me.” They let me sit next to them and showed me what they were doing. 

“You’re making me a twitter? Why?

“And an Instagram” 

“Again, why?” Ashton groans and looks at me.

“Because when we’re away we still want to see what you and Sam are doing.” I nod and let them do whatever, 

“Why do you make it seem like you’re leaving tomorrow?” 

“We just want to make sure that when we leave again, you won’t stop talking to us again.” The sad looks on their faces makes my heart drop.

“I know that I shouldn’t have cut you guys out. Especially since it wasn’t your faults like at all. I just didn’t want you guys to give up tour because of me.” I hug them and they hug back. “We good?” I mutter into Michael's neck.

“Always.” 

“Alright so we made you an Instagram and a twitter. You know how to use it right?” 

“Of course I know how to use it. I’m not stupid.” They hand me my phone and I look at my profiles. Suddenly my phone starts to go off. Dinging constantly. 

“What happened?” 

“Nothing, it’s just Michael and I followed and tweeted you.” He smiles and looks at his phone. 

“You guys seriously put my notifs on for you?” I laugh and look at what they said. 

@Ashton5SOS:  
Hi @CalumHood

@Michael5SOS:  
@CalumHood Is there any food left?

I laugh and stare at Michael.

@CalumHood:  
@Michael5SOS you are literally sitting right next to me but yes there is. 

I check and see that I already have 1.6M followers and I’m only following Michael, Ashton and their band account. I look through my followers and decided to follow some of their fans who seemed nice. While I was scrolling through my followers list I see Lukes name and press it. I scroll through his profile and see that he mainly just responds to fan and makes weird jokes that make me smile. I quickly follow him back and switch to Instagram. Again only following the three accounts. I post a recent picture of Sam and I and scroll through comments, liking and replying. I follow some people back and see Luke again. I follow him back without looking at his profile and lock my phone. I look up and Michael is eating while Ash is drinking another beer still on his phone. I go back and answer more people on twitter, Ash and Mikey doing the same. 

(I’M JUST MAKING THESES USERS UP I DONT KNOW IF THEY’RE REAL OR NOT)  
@vAPorsosx:  
@CalumHood fuck you’re cute  
→ @vAporsosx Thanks haha ;p

@lukeschin:  
How do you know the boys? @CalumHood   
→ @lukeschin we’re childhood friends :)

I like a few tweets and search for more people to follow. I follow 1D and the members, and more accounts. I come across and follow BTS, a kpop group. They’re my guilty pleasure. (AN: Cal really follows them on twt uwu) Ash busts out laughing and looks at me. 

“Kpop really Cal.” Michael laughs with him. 

“Hey there is nothing wrong with kpop. Anyways BTS are the shit so whatever.”

“How did you get into them anyway” 

“Well Sam likes a show called Pororo and it’s a korean show, so when he fell asleep watching it, one of their videos was in the suggestions and I watched it cause I was curious. But now I’m hooked.” I sigh and scroll through their twitter, RT a bunch of their selfies and tweets. 

@Ashton5SOS  
Just caught @CalumHood screenshotting a bunch of BTS’ pictures lool.  
→ fuck off m8 @Ashton5SOS they’re beautiful. God created each of them by hand. 

As soon as I tweeted that a bunch of their fans followed me, and I followed them back. All of us put our phones away and put on a movie. We ended up watch the latest Thor movie. We never make it to the end of the movie and fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it'll get better i swear. college is kicking my ass.


	9. Teacups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another filler soorrry but it'll get better i swear. this chapter is just pretty much building up for the next one.

I woke up to see my mum hovering over me and giggling at her phone. 

“I made breakfast” She whispers and waves goodbye walking out the door. I get up and walk to the kitchen and see everyone is up and eating, half asleep. I check the clock and see its 11am. I haven’t slept in that long since Sam was born. 

“Hi daddy.” Sam yells happily, pancakes falling out of his mouth. I walk up to Sam, give him a kiss on the cheek, and serve myself some food and sit between Sam and Michael. 

“You guys good?” I take the napkin out of Michaels mouth, since he was unconsciously sticking random things in his mouth. Ash puts his phone down and smiles. Dimples showing. 

“Yeah good, everything is good.” He shoves half a pancake and smiles at me. I laugh and go back to eating. All of a sudden Michael jumps up, causing Sam to choke at the sudden movement. 

“What are we doing today?” Mike asks stuffing bacon in his mouth. 

“I’m not sure, there isn’t really anything to do, it’ll take a long time to get ready, plus you’ll get ambushed.” Mike and Ash look at eachother and laugh. 

“Calum, stop being such a mom and get ready.” I roll my eyes and continue eating. 

“I have to give Sam a bath and get him ready. Plus pack his bag.”

“Your mom took him a bath this morning and laid his clothes for the day on the couch.” Ash smirks at me and laughs. 

“Just go take a shower. You’re not gonna win this one.” I nod and stuff the last bit of food in my mouth and go to the bathroom. After being in the shower for 20 minutes, I unwillingly get out of the warm shower and wrap a towel around and head to my room. When I am fully clothed I walk to the living room and see them watching Naruto. They’re so into it that they don’t notice me. I walk behind the couch and take my phone out, I take a picture and post it on twitter. 

→ You would think they’ve never seen Naruto before :p   
Image attached (Lol iddk)  
I lock my phone and sit next to them, making them jump. 

“Oh hey Calum, you ready?” I see that Sam is already dressed and so are the other two. 

“I just need to pack Sams bag real quick.” I walk to the room and they follow, leaving Sam and Daisy with Naruto. 

“So what exactly goes into the bag and why?” They sit on my bed and watch me gather all the things. 

“Well, toys incase he gets bored on the drive or so he doesn’t get fussy. Extra clothes just in case, so that's usually 2 pairs of clothes incase something happens to the first pair, that includes socks and underwear. Food, like fruit, crackers, cheese stuff like that. Juice and Water, uhm wipes, first aid kid, the essentials really. Why the sudden interest?” Ashton shakes his head and walks out of the room, Mikey following. 

“Oh Cal, we’re taking my car so we need to get the car seat right.” I nod and help Sam with his shoes. Mikey grabs my car keys and I take Sam to the restroom.

“Go before we leave, cause I don’t know where we are going.” Sam nods and sits on the toilet. After a minute he finally goes, I give Daisy food and water, and lock the door. I go outside to see that they grabbed Sams bag, but were arguing on how the car seat was supposed to go. 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DOESN’T GO THAT WAY ASH.” I hand Sam to Mikey and get into the backseat and fix the seat. After a couple seconds I grab Sam and buckle him into the seat. I close the door and smile at their shocked faces.

“So where are we going?” laugh and get into the front seat since Michael wanted to sit next to Sam. 

“We were thinking that we could go to the fair. It’s the last night, plus they have a kiddy land.” Ash nods and turns the music down a bit, driving off. 

“It’ll be cute like all of us will be on the tiny rides and look like giants.” Ash laughs.

“You guys don’t have to stay with Sam and I. You could go on the actual rides, I don’t mind.”

“Calum you’re annoying.” Ash rolls his eyes and Michael laughs. 

“What, why?”

“We’re going to the fair because they have the kiddy land. We came here like the second day don’t worry.” I nod and turn the music up, Sam instantly dancing to whatever was playing. I may not regret not telling anybody about Sam, but I do feel bad. Ashton and Michael love Sam so much and it’s only been like two days i think. I don’t regret it because they’re happy and living their dream, but they think I don’t trust them, which isn’t true at all. I trust them with my life, i trust them so much that if anything were to happen to me, I would be okay with Sam being in their care. 

“Oh by the way Cal, Luke is gonna be there. I know you guys aren’t at good pl-” Ash rambles. 

“Ash I don’t care. He’s still your best friend, you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to hang out with him.” I smile. “But thanks for letting me know, does he know we’ll be there?” I ask quietly glancing at him. 

“Yeah he does, don’t worry.” He pats my knee and continues driving. “We’ll be there in like 20 minutes.” I smile listening to Michael make Sam laugh. 

“Is he going to be with us at kiddy land?” he nods. I take a deep breathe and close my eyes.

~

“ALRIGHT LET’S DO THIS” Michael yelled jumping out of the car, Sam in his arms screaming with him. I grab Sams bag and stare at Mikey and Sam who are jumping in circles, still screaming and laughing. I look at Ash and he joins them, not forgetting to record it all. 

“It’s like they’re all the same age huh.” I look up and see Luke standing next to me, watching them with a small smile on his face. I clear my throat and nod. After a few seconds they stop jumping and sigh, all out of breath. 

“Daddy can I have juice please and cheese.” I nod and walk over to them, I hand Ash and Mikey a water I grabbed for them before we left. 

“Thanks mum.” They say at the same time.

“I’m not a fucking woman you walnuts.” I laugh and hand Sam a cheese stick and his juice. “Do you guys want some cheese?” I ask pulling more out. Luke is the only one who says yes. 

“Aw you made snacks for us too. How cute.” Michael coos, pinching my cheek. 

“It’s a habit. Leave me alone you over cooked boiled egg.” They all burst out laughing and look at me. 

“What are these insults.” Luke laughs, choking on his cheese stick. Sam rushes over to luke and hands him some juice. 

“Daddy says not to talk with your mouth full, cos then you choke.” Everyone keeps laughing and stares at them. 

“Your dad’s smart. What’s your name?” Sam looks at me as if asking permission to tell this strange man his name. I nod and he smiles. He takes a big breath and begins. 

“My name is Sam Hood. I am four years old. My Dad is Calum Hood. My Nan’s num-” I cover his mouth and laugh. 

“That’s if you get lost dork.” He smiles and looks at Luke. 

“What’s your name mister?” Sam looks at luke and pats his shoulder. 

“Erm, my names Luke Hemmings. Nice to meet you.” Luke smiles and so does Sam. 

“OKAY LET’S GET ON SOME RIDES DUDES” Michael yells and Sam follows him. “C’MON SAMMY.” he picks him up and they run to the entrance, Ash slowly jogging behind them, leaving Luke and I together. 

“So, is Sam your only kid?” I nod 

“Wife? Girlfriend?”

“No, I’m not with anybody.” he nods. 

“Can we just, forget ya know and be friends.” Luke stops walking and looks at me. I look at him and get stuck in his stupid pretty eyes.

“I’d like that.” he smiles and we continue walking, finally catching up to them in line to get tickets. When it’s our turn I take my wallet out and up to pay for Sam and I.

“NO!” the lady and I jump and turn around to see three of them right behind me. 

“I invited you so I’ll pay for you and Sam, don’t worry.” he pushes me away and hands me back my money. 

“Okay should we go on rides first?” Ash asks pulling out a map of the park. 

“ Fuck yes.” Michael says in a serious tone.

“Dude you know we’re going on kid rides right.” Luke asks glancing at him. 

“Yeah but it’s all of us again, plus a tiny Calum. It’ll be just like before.” Michael smiles and ruffles Sams’ hair. I look up at them and clear my throat. 

“Sam was saying he wanted to try the tea cups right Sam.” He squeals and jumps around. 

“YES TEACUPS.” Michael yells. He grabs Sams hand and they run towards the ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay luke is here yay. ALSO. next chapter some stuff WILL happen so wait for it :) 
> 
> i saw 5SOS this week and it was the best day of my life. They were all so pretty. It's like you're used to seeing them through a screen. but when they're right there, its so different. I hope you all get to see them one day. :) 
> 
> I'll finish the next chapter today, so unTIL NEXT TIME.


	10. Pocket monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness guys I'm so sorry for this long ass wait, I am an absolutely terrible person wow. I have no excuses but that life is hard
> 
> Oh just in case it comes up or it's confusing. Sam was born Oct. 24, and this is happening 2 days after his birthday, just wanted to clear this up, also Calum is only 21 here.

_“OW OW **OUCH”**_

 

“See that’s why I told you not to run, the rides aren’t going anywhere. We’re gonna be here all day, so don’t worry.” I get on my knees and clean up the tiny cut on his leg.

 

“Yeah Uncle Mikey, you have to be more careful when running.” Sam stands next to Michael, holding his hand and petting his head. Luke and Ashton haven’t stopped laughing since Ash got it on camera by accident. Now Luke is recording Michael getting comforted by Sam.

 

“Oh my god.” Luke tries to breathe but starts laughing up again, making Ashton giggle and you can’t stay straight faced when he giggles, so I start laughing too.

 

“Daddy, don’t laugh at Uncle Mikey, he’s hurt.” Sam stands up and puts one hand on his hip since the other is holding Michaels hand. 

 

“Sorry” I laugh and finish taking care of Michaels tiny cut. “Alright you’re all done kiddo.” I help Michael up and Luke starts laughing again, loud and hunched over, his face turning pink.

 

“C’mon please tell me you got that dude.” Ash asks still laughing and Luke nods, unable to form words due to his excessive laughter. 

 

“Alright stop recording you dick wad.” Michael laughs reaching for Luke’s phone. 

 

“Alright, I’m done man.” Luke puts his phone in his pocket and hugs Michael. 

 

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” Sam whispers in my ear. I nod and look inside the bag.

 

“Okay I have oranges, grapes, crackers, and another cheese stick.” Sam scrunches his nose and shakes his head. “There’s one juice left if you want it?” he shakes his head no and sighs. 

 

“What’s wrong Sam?” Luke asks, catching the attention of the other two. Sam ushers Luke to get closer and pulls his face close to his. 

 

“I’m hungry.” Sam says again, but this time a bit louder. Luke nods and whispers something back into Sams ear, he squeals and grabs Luke's hand pulling him away.

 

“Wait.”  I follow them and look back at Mike and Ashton. They shrug and say to meet back there in an hour. I agree and continue following Sam and Luke to wherever they were going. After three  minutes they finally stop and sit at a round red table with a yellow umbrella on top. 

 

“Hi daddy,  Lukey said he would buy me all the food I want.” Luke smiles and nods his head. 

 

“Fine, but if he needs to pee or throw up, you’re taking care of him.” I sit down and give Sam a toy to play with while he waits for his food. 

 

“I can do that.” He laughs and looks at me. 

 

“He eats a lot, he gets that from me ya know.” I laugh. “Hope your wallet can handle it.” He laughs and shakes his head. 

 

“I think my wallet will be okay don’t worry.  _ Even if  _ he eats like you.” I smile and look at Sam. “Anything you want Sam?” he puts his toys down and looks around. 

 

“I want nuggets, fries, and the stick thingy she has over there.” He gives a cheesy smile, pointing at a churro.

 

“Okay no problem, Cal you want anything?”

 

“I’ll have the same if it’s okay. You need help?”

 

“Nah it’s okay I got it.” He smiles and walks away.  After 10 minutes of Sam and I playing with his toys and watching youtube videos Luke comes back hands full of food. I laugh at his struggling face and help him. Sam squeals at his food and eats immediately. Luke hands me my food and stares at Sam. 

 

“You didn’t get anything to eat? Luke shakes his head.

 

“I’m not all that hungry”

 

“That’s such a lie, you're always hungry.” I shove my plate towards him. 

 

“Go on, take some, I’m used to sharing now.” Luke laughs and shoves a nugget in his mouth. 

  
  


“Sam what’s your favorite color?”

 

“Yellow” Sam puts his nugget down and stares at Luke. “What’s your favorite plant?” Luke seems shocked at the question, not expecting that. “Uhm a dandelion I guess. It seems like a sad flower.” Sam thinks for a moment and nods. “I like cactuses cos they live forever but daddy says I can’t touch them because they have lots of pokies.” Sam pouts and eats again. “It’s cacti you noob.” I wipe his face and take a sip of my lemonade. He makes a mocking face and continues eating. “You’re daddy is really smart huh.” he nods.

 

“Yeah daddy knows all kinds of stuff.” He boasts. 

 

“Uhm I think it’s time to meet the others now. We can get a uh stroller and you can finish eating your food okay.” Sam pouts but nods nonetheless. Luke leaves to rent a stroller, while I gather his toys and put it back in his bag while Sam continues eating. When Luke comes back, Ashton and Michael are already blowing up our phones asking where we are and what was taking so long. 

 

“Sorry we were eating and Sam wasn’t finished yet so we had to get a stroller so that Sam can keep eating.” 

 

“S’all good guys, since Sam is eating let’s play some booths and win shit.” Sam nods at the idea but continues to stuff food into his mouth. We walked around looking for a booth that seemed interesting enough to play until Sam squeals, getting the attention of everyone in the world. 

 

“DADDY! THAT ONE HAS POKÉMON!” I look at where he was pointing and notice a balloon popping booth that has a bunch of plushies hanging all around, balloons hanging ranging from close to far. “Which one do you want?” I push the stroller closer and the others follow. “I want the Snorlax and Eevee.” 

 

“You don’t want the Pikachu?” Michael asked, taking his wallet out. Sams face scrunched up into a frown. 

 

“He doesn’t like Pikachu that much because he takes the spotlight from all the other ones and they’re all rad. His words.” Calum laughs. 

 

“Alright game plan. Ashton and I are gonna go for the Snorlax, because we’re obviously better and you chumps can go for the Eevee.” I scoff and turn to him and Ashton. 

 

“I’ll have you know that Eevee can evolve into multiple types of pokemon and each one of them is a different type okay, despite Eevee itself being a normal type, it can evolve into all types, like water, fire, and electricity which uhm hello the legendary three pokemon and now they also advanced to psychic, ice, grass, dark and there's one that hasn’t even been determined yet. So who's the real chump huh.” I take a breath and hold my hand in front of Sam who gives the best hi-five they have ever shared.

 

“Well damn, alright then.”  Ashton laughs. Luke and I win the Eevee first while we wait for Michael and Ash to finish playing for Snorlax. “I thought you said you were good at this Mikey.” I laugh and cleanoff Sams hands that finally stopped eating. “Whatever you ass.” He laughs and they finally win the Snorlax. Happy with winning we set off to look for more games to win and prizes to get. 

 

They won more prizes for Sam, like he needed them, but it made me happy watching how much he laughed with them. 

 

“Hey Calum can we take him in that ride.” Ash asks pointing to a mini roller coaster. I look to Sam who looked excited so I nodded. 

 

“But please, hold on to him. I won’t hesitate to kill you all.” I said seriously, looking at them dead in eye. Michael is the first to roll his eyes.

 

“Yes mum.” He pulls Sam out of the stroller and walk away with Ashton. “I’M A MAN YOU ASSHAT!” I yell at their backs. Luke laughs and sits on a nearby bench that sat under a tree. 

 

“You’re not going with them?” I sit next to him, keeping a distance.

 

“Nah” He shook his head, pulling the stroller closer to him. “I can’t believe your kid is a weeb.” he laughs, covering his mouth. I smile along. 

 

“Of course, I won’t have anyone calling my kid an uncultured swine. Not on my watch.” I say in all seriousness. It’s quiet after that. Neither of us say anything, and surprisingly, it’s comfortable. In all honesty, I expected this to be uncomfortable and exhausting, but then again it was Luke. He never did anything that made me uncomfortable. Looking back on it all, even when we were together and fighting, I was always more comfortable when he was by my side. It made me smile a bit remembering it all, but more of a bitter sweet smile. The only time I was ever uncomfortable around Luke was when I had to break up with him and even then, it wasn’t even his fault, it was mine - well the whole uncomfortable feeling was my fault. - 

 

“So Cal how are you doing?” Luke asked after a few minutes of saying nothing. I shrugged and looked at all the people passing by, all with smiles on their faces. 

 

“As good as I can be.” I murmur and he nods. “How’s life as a huge musician?” I laugh and turn to look at him. He has a small smile on his face and shakes his head. 

 

“It’s fun and kind of hard I guess.” He shrugs looking at the ground.

 

“How long is this break gonna be? I heard from Ash you guys are writing right now right? That’s so cool. It’s so awesome seeing you guys online and on t.v, like you guys actually fucking did it ya know. Oh, not that I didn’t think you guys couldn’t.” I trail off realizing I rambled too much. Luke laughed, an honest laugh that I hadn’t heard in so long. 

 

“I’m glad not everything about you has changed.” He clears his throat.  “Erm, yeah we are writing right now but we’re nowhere near done with this album. We only have four songs done, we haven’t really recorded them either. Once we do finish though we have to work on tour dates and booking, then coming up with new merch and promotional ideas and yeah I think it’ll be awhile.” He trailed off. 

 

“It must be so cool going to all those different places and meeting all sorts of people.” I smile. “What’s your favorite place so far?” Luke ponders for a minute before turning to face me. 

 

“I can’t say I have a favorite place but I can say that my favorite thing about each place is the sky. I know it’s cheesy as fuck but trust me dude, the sky looks different every place we go to, it’s never really the same and pictures don’t do it any justice. It’s fucking awesome.” He sighs. A small smile on his face, picturing all the times he stayed up to watch the sunset and rise whenever he couldn’t sleep or had enough free time to watch, which wasn’t often. 

 

“It  must of been rough huh Cally?” he whispers, looking up at me. 

 

“Huh? What was?” I asked confused, before he has a chance to reply Sam comes running up to him, Ash and Mikey running beside him. 

 

“DADDY IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!” he screams jumping in my lap and laughing. I kiss his cheek and hold his face in my hands. Michael sits next to me and shows a video of them sitting on each side of Sam, waiting for the ride to start. 

 

‘ _ Are you scared Sam?” Ashton asks, handing the phone to Michael. Sam shakes his head a big smile on his face, clutching both of their hands in his small ones. The ride jolts forward and he squeals, his hands clutching tighter.  _

 

The video ends with the ride stopping, the while video just consisted of Sam laughing and screaming.

 

“Dad! Dad! It went FWOOSH and FWUMP!” he smiled up at me, face pink and his blue eyes big and bright. I laughed and pulled a water out from my bag. Sam instantly shook his head pushing the water away with a pout. 

 

“C’mon Sam, if you don’t drink the water you’re gonna feel sick then we have to leave.” I try giving the water to him again but he pushes the water away and starts to cry, startling the other boys out of their conversation. I check the time and realize he missed his usual nap time. I sigh close the water bottle. 

 

“Is everything okay?” They ask looking at Sam who started to cry louder. I nod and pull  a blanket from my backpack and wrap it around him, pulling him into a hug. 

 

“Yeah, he’s just cranky since he missed his nap.” they nod. Sam is still crying but it’s not as loud. I move to grab my phone and earphones from my bag but it makes Sam cry louder. I try to shift to get more comfortable and untangle the earphones but Sam whines. Hands grab the earphones to untangle them and I search for the song that always makes him fall asleep. I look up to see who has the earphones and Luke hands them to me, I grab them with a quiet thanks and plug them into my phone, putting one in Sams’ ear, who is still crying but with a lot less of the screaming. Somewhere Only we know by Keane plays softly into Sams ears as he becomes quiet and shifts into a comfortable spot on my chest, his hands holding onto my arms and legs wrapped around me. I pull the blanket over his head to block the sun, he instantly falls asleep, only tiny hiccups being heard. The boys say next to me on the bench all squeezed together. 

 

“He’s a heavy sleeper, you don’t have to be weird.” I bounce my leg that Sam was perched on to put him into a deeper sleep and pull the blanket to cover his legs. 

 

“Is it always like this?” Michael breaks the silence and Ash smacks him. 

 

“Nah, he hardly ever cries, but babies are supposed to nap once a day for at least two hours, and since he missed his nap from being excited, he’s a bit cranky.” It’s quiet for a moment and the other three keep sending signals to each other. 

 

“What?”

 

“Ah, it’s nothing, but we were wondering if we should take you home now so that he can nap.” I smile at their concerned faces and shake my head. 

 

“He should be up in like 30 minutes since this position is quite uncomfortable, plus we still need to ride the teacups. You guys go ahead and do whatever, I’ll let you know when he wakes up.” I wave them off. They glance at each other for a moment and smile, getting up and heading into the park. 

  
  


* * *

 

After only 20 minutes of silence and watching people pass by Sam finally wakes up. I was really hoping that he would sleep a little longer. He sat up and pulled the blanket off his head and stared at me. He blinked his blue eyes slowly, adjusting to his surroundings and finally smiled. 

 

“Hi daddy.” He smiles, giving me a hug. I kiss his forehead and wipe the sleep from his eyes. He looks around for a few minutes, taking in the scenery. 

 

“Can we go on the teacups now dad?” He asks, a pout on his face. That was the first thing we were originally going to do but on the way there Sam and Michael got distracted by  _ everything _ we walked passed. Sam I understand ya know, he’s a toddler, but Michael, well he’s another story. 

 

“Yeah we just have to wait for those losers to get back and you have to eat and have some water before we do anything. Got it?” He groans but nods anyways. I give him some grapes and peanut butter crackers, letting him sit next to me and eat. 

 

“I miss Daisy.” He says, taking a sip of his water. Michael comes back first, a few stuffed animals in one arm and a corn dog in the other, a big smile on his face when he notices he’s the first one back and that Sam is awake. Sam nods off with food in his mouth, head rocking back then jolting awake once his head hits the bench. Michael dumps the plushies in the stroller, hands me the corndog and takes his phone out, recording Sam who hasn’t stopped nodding off or putting food in his mouth. Once Michael is done recording I snap Sam out of it and urge him to continue eating. 

 

“The corndog is for you by the way, and so is this.” He points at a cactus plushie in the stroller and smiles. “I remember you were obsessed with them after you had to write that paper on them in middle school.” he laughs. “You came to my place everyday after school that week, hounding my mum to tell you everything she knew about cactuses. We didn’t really see you that much after that.” He snorts. “Then we found out that you had bought like 5 of those stupid plants and was too busy watching them.” i smile at the memory and take a bite of the corn dog. “How long has he been up anyways?” He points to Sam, trying to stuff grapes into his mouth. 

 

“Like ten minutes.” I squish his cheeks, taking out as much of the grapes as I can without him biting me. He groans and pushes my hand away making three grapes fall on the floor. “Dad” he groans. Later Ashton shows up, bringing me chicken nuggets, which I have to share with Michael and Sam. We talk and listen to music while we wait for Luke to get back. When Luke does get back after a long time he sits on the ground next to Ashton and joins the conversation, a little winded. 

 

“We’re gonna havta leave soon.” I say, looking at the sky turning pink and orange. The boys, minus Luke, groan and roll their eyes. 

 

“But daddy said we could go on the teacups.” Sam abruptly stands up and points at me, glaring. 

 

“I didn't say now you little shit.” I glare back. Sam doesn’t back down and moves his face closer to mine. I hear laughter in the background and glare harder. Sam moves away and crosses his arms. 

“Fine, but you owe me a nickel.”

 

“I don’t owe you shit.”

 

“TWO NICKELS.”

 

“You don’t even know what nickels are.” 

 

“I don’t care. You owe me two of ‘em.” He argues. 

 

“Alright sit down and finish your grapes you noob.” He smiles and stuffs a grape in his mouth happy to have won. 

 

“Anyways only one ride because you still need to eat dinner, bathe and practice your reading before going to bed, and then tomorrow we’ll look for the rest of your costume okay.” I drag my hand over his head and he nods, he pouts but still agrees. 

 

“Costume? What for?” Luke asked. 

 

“Halloween. I have to do all that stuff now.” I smile. “This is his first time going trick or treating since he can stay up longer now.” Sam nods excitedly. 

 

“What are you gonna be Sam?” Michael asks. Sam stands in a ninja pose and yells. 

 

“KIBA” he smiles. “From Naruto” I whisper. “Yeah and daddy is gonna be Luigi.” I nod and start putting his snacks and toys away that he started to take out waiting for the boys to get back. “Daddy says we’re gonna go to a bunch of houses and get a bunch of candy like a shit ton.” He exclaims, lisp thick and eyes big. 

 

“What the fuck dude, don’t swear.” The boys are laughing in the background. I give them a pointed look and they stop. “I’m trying to scold him and when you guys laugh, he thinks it’s okay!” I scold and they stop, smiles long gone from their faces.

 

“Remember Sam, that word is on the list of things you can’t say until you’re older.” Sam pouts but nods nonetheless. 

 

“Sorry daddy.” He pouts and comes in for a hug, forcing himself into my arms and wrapping my arms around himself, holding them there. Once he lets go my arms drop to my lap and he groans. 

 

“Dad come on.” He drags out, pulling my arms back around him. He huffs and knocks his head onto my chest. I laugh at his antics but hug him back, trying to hide the smile on my face.  

I’ve never doubted for a second that I was going to keep Sam, I knew for sure that I would keep him and raise him on my own. It didn’t matter that I was way too young or a dude or even alone, I knew that it was meant to be and in this moment with him quietly giggling in my ear and squeezing me oh so tight, I knew that I made the greatest decision in my entire life and I don’t regret it for a second. It’s so hard to picture what my life was like before Sam existed, how I was able to exist in a world where Sam didn’t, but holy shit was I terrified, mortified, scared shitless of all the things that I could possibly fuck up as a parent. Like what if I accidently slip out that Santa or the tooth fairy doesn’t actually exist and it completely ruins him. 

 

I pull away from the hug and stand up, he doesn’t let go like I expect so I hold onto him and grab the rest of my stuff, the boys helping. “Let’s go ride the teacups yeah?” We head towards the ride quietly, which um  _ what?  _ I look back at the guys and see them walking a bit behind with the stroller whispering about. 

 

“Whadya doing?” I stop and turn to look at them. 

 

“Yeah hurry up.” Sam yells along with me. Once they catch up, they don’t talk, which is super suspicious since they never shut up. Sam talks the whole time about random things, like dreams he had once or stories of his life that clearly never happened and he babbles on and on until we finally make it to the ride and stand in line. 

 

Being in line was weird, Sam continued talking but the guys remained silent. They didn’t even talk to each other. It was our turn in line, they had an area for strollers and we all stuffed into one teacup. Ashton, Luke, Sam, me, and then Michael sat squished, it annoyed me to no end that the guys were staying quiet but this was Sams first time on the teacups and I wasn’t gonna ruin it for him. In the end, it’s just Sam that I’m worried or care about. 

 

“Ya ready Sammy?” I ask and he jumps up screaming ‘yes.’ The ride starts to slowly turn, I grab onto Sams’ hands and put them on the wheel in the center. I help him with turning it and the cup spins faster, he claps and starts to turn it more. The guys smile at him, but that’s it. I turn the wheel with one hand and the other holds onto Sam once the cup picks up the pace. 

 

After the ride ends I have to carry Sam out of the cup from being too dizzy and place him back in the stroller. 

 

“Let’s go home now okay daddy.” Sam clutches onto his new eevee and leans back. I give him a juice pouch and nod. 

 

“Okay baby.” I push the stroller back the way we came in and the others follow quietly. Sam babbles the whole way until we make it back to Ashtons car. He opens the trunk and when I go to open it they all yell.

 

“NOOO.” Sam nearly jumps out my arms from the random yelling. 

 

“W-we can do that.” Michael mutters, pushing me towards Sams car seat. I roll my eyes but do it anyways, after he’s buckled up I plop down next to him and close the door. A few minutes and random noises later the guys get into the car and Ash starts to drive away. Luke explained that he ubered here needed a ride back. The drive back was quiet, I bribed Sam with a cookie as long as he stayed awake until bedtime, which was easy for him, cause once he heard that he immediately started to perk up. Singing along to the radio, even if he didn’t know the words. 

 

When we finally made it to back to my house I quickly unbuckled sam and grabbed his go bag and backpack. Sam ran to the door, happily chanting Daisy’s name making her bark. 

 

“Uhm, I would invite you guys in but we have a lot of shit to do before bedtime and you guys will only excite him but I guess I’ll see you guys around maybe..?” I shuffled awkwardly trying to hold everything. “Em Mikey, you think you can help with the car seat..?” He jumps from his seat and nods. “Or do you need me to show you again?” I laugh and he huffs. “Whatever Ashton was the one who didn’t know how to do it.” 

 

“Oh fuck off, you were the one putting it the wrong way.” 

 

“Hurry daddy Daisy is sad!” I unlock the door and Daisy jumps around Sam, who pulls the pup into a hug and laughs when Daisy attacks his face with slobbering kisses. I put all of my things down when Michael finally comes through the door car seat in hand. He sets it down by the front door and starts to walk out.

 

“Wait, what the fuck is going on with you guys?” Was he really just gonna leave like that, after he and Ashton spent all that time making him feel bad for not talking to them he was just going to up and ignore me like that? I thought we were having fun today..

 

“What do you mean?” he asked, slowly turning around. 

 

“What do I mean? You guys just started acting weird all of a sudden so what’s up? What happened?” he’s quiet for a few moments then he turns around and walks out, saying nothing. 

 

_ What the fuck? _


End file.
